Much like having kids, marriage is not for everyone. However, that's a fact lost on a lot of people. It's as though being born a girl means you have been dreaming of your wedding day since the second grade. This couldn't be further from the truth -- whether your married cousins want to believe it or not. That's why I loved this recent tweet by Sarah Silverman: "When a woman doesn't want to get married she's a weirdo, when a man doesn't wanna get married he's George Clooney."
Amen sister. SO TRUE! Women who don't want to wed are not freaks of nature. In fact, some would argue they have made the more sane choice.
First off, let me just say I love being married. I have an amazing husband. But I love being married because of him, not because I need marriage to complete my life in some way. I happened to meet a great guy that I adored, had a lot of fun with, and things grew from there.
Admittedly, some women never find that and others don't want that. Some women just don't feel the need to add wife to their bucket list. I have a friend who bristles at the thought of marriage. To her, it feels like more of a jail sentence than a happily ever after. It's not that she's opposed to commitment, she just prefers a breakup not involve nasty legal complications with bank accounts, property, and pets.
Even still, I know others who just don't believe in the institution itself. Why does a marriage certificate and religious ceremony mean so much more? Of course, it does for many people. Most couples opt for church weddings with a minister. But that doesn't necessarily mean you are less likely to split. We have all heard those depressing divorce statistics.
Another reason rational women are leery of tying the knot? All the complaints from us married folks scare them off. Unfortunately, we are more likely to bitch and moan about our husbands than sing their praises. Yes, marriage is hard, but I think the reason we're more open with our gripes is because gushing seems a bit too much like bragging. Especially if you are chatting with a single friend.
Is it any wonder some women don't want to wed? So why does society still treat them like anomalies? Why should we care? Gone are the days when girls went from their father's house right into their husband's. And thanks to adoption and sperm banks, you don't even need a man to start a family. We can be as independent as we need or want be. That should be something celebrated, not a choice women like Sarah Silverman feel they have to defend.
Do you think most women want to get married?
Image via Pierre Guinoiseau/Flickr