6 Distractions That Could Destroy Your Relationship

Love & Learn 11

I remember the day I considered getting a smartphone for the first time. Before that, I'd been using a simple cellphone, one that made calls and occasionally dropped them. I didn't assume that I needed anything fancier than that -- I mean, I'm just a chick with a blog, right?

Time marched on and I found myself actually needing a smartphone, which I bought. Then came tablets - I probably needed one of those, too, right? For those times when phones aren't enough?

Those two things quickly became both a tether and a noose around my neck -- I was always reachable and available, which meant that I should respond, even if I was in the middle of living life in the real world.

Turns out? These distractions are things that can not only make us feel pressured to do more faster, but can ultimately put a serious damper on our relationships. Here are the biggest offenders.

1) Games - Video games, computer games, games on your phone or tablet - while these can provide a nice escape from the stresses of real life, they can also lead to some mega-relationship problems. If you find yourself spending more time playing games than you do talking to your partner, you should put them away.

2) Texting - There's nothing ruder than spending time with your partner AND texting another person at the same time. Doesn't matter if the other person is of the opposite sex or not, it's a clear sign that whoever is in your real life is less important than the person on the other end of your messages.

3) Facebook - While being able to keep tabs on the antics of your friends in real-time Facebook updates, isn't it more important to spend that time with your significant other? Facebook updates will be there later. Your partner may not be if you keep choosing a social networking site over him.

4) Smartphones - I have a hard time calling anything "smart" that can't cure cancer, but I fully understand the urgency and (occasional) need for a smartphone. I run a nonprofit organization called Band Back Together -- if someone is in desperate need of help, I need to know about it. But I also need to be able to show a partner that I'm present and in the moment with him.

5) Tablets - I'm an Apple girl, and I do so love my iPad. It allows me to do a ton of things remotely. I also understand that whatever I'm doing on my iPad should wait until I'm not out at dinner with or relaxing at home with a date. Being glued to my iPad is NOT sending the right message to someone I may really care for.

6) YouTube - I get it - there's funny stuff to be seen on YouTube. But how about turning off the dancing cat video and having a real conversation with the guy next to you before it's too late?

Do you find yourself using distractions like these to avoid real life? Have these things caused problems in your relationships?


Image via MJ/TR/Flickr

dating, cafemom studios, breakups


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shade... shade.lotus

Now the texting and Facebook I can KIND OF understand, for most people this is a major distraction. BUT there are people (like me) who majority of the time text family that we can't see whenever because of them living far away, and same with Facebook (in my case Facebook is used at night after my son is asleep and I talk to friends that are no longer in state). Whomever I end up in a relationship with needs to understand that. As for everything else I would involve him in it all.

IKnow... IKnow0101

I need to show this to my husband.  This site is pretty much it as far as electronic devices except for my online schooling.  I just recently got a cellphone for emergencies only.  Only my daughter's school, my husband, and parents have them.  I use to have a cell phone when I was younger and got rid of it when people called it incessantly for nothing.  Man I still listen to records and cassette tapes.

pupuk... pupukeawahine

What about good old fashioned books?  We both read all the time and I know I do it to escape.

jpove... jpoveda2000

Lol... I enjoyed this post... My husband must join this group! He might learn a thing or two. I am having these situations as explained here with him. Thank you for posting this post! I am here to discuss whenever ready! I can tell you stories of my experiences because of a smartphone.


jpove... jpoveda2000

I checked out the link that was added in this post. I no longer listen to records nor cassette tapes... But I did for a very long time... Smiling.

jpove... jpoveda2000

thank you Aunt Becky for this post.

kelly... kelly24019

Meh, we play video games during all our free time together. Texting is impersonal and you shouldn't do it, I will not communicate that way... Call me or visit if you need to talk. For the rest of the items? It's just sad...

nonmember avatar daydreamer

Under facebook, you forgot to mention that if your relationship is already on the rocks, a past "friend" on facebook will more than likely be the nail in the coffin. I am one of many that I know who's significant other left them for a past acquaintance reunited by facebook.

SaphireH SaphireH

I don't do much of any of it since I don't have a lot of free time but my husband lives on his final fantasy game and I'm ignored for all his game friends. Its gotten so bad I can't even get turned on anymore during sex because that's the only time he pays any attention to me, when he's horny and I feel like sex if just for him to get off and call it good not caring if I get off and then goes right back to his game

Momto... Momto3inMI

Very good article!! Will be posting it on Facebook n send it to any future dates. Lol

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