5 Anniversary Gifts No Wife Ever Wants

thumbtacksLet's just get this out there: anniversary presents are a bitch. Giving and receiving material items that are intended to show your love and appreciation just never seem to do the trick. They're either too over the top (what is he trying to prove?!), too little (what is he saying?!), or too annoying (seriously, this guy doesn't know me at all).

While I can't help the ladies out there -- buying presents for men is simply impossible -- I can help the dudes out there who are looking for some guidance. Because someone I know just received a pile of thumbtacks for her anniversary, here are 5 anniversary gifts no wife ever wants

  1. Something she said she needed that can be purchased at any of the following locations: CVS, Home Depot, Grocery Store. If your wife casually mentions she needs thumbtacks for a DIY project, it's really sweet if you pick some up for her. It's not, however, really sweet if you use them as her anniversary gift. Yes, it says you're listening, but it also says you're kind of dumb.
  2. Something that makes your life better, not necessarily hers: Tickets to your favorite sporting event, your favorite band, or your favorite show don't really convey any selflessness. Think of her, not you.
  3. Something that makes zero sense. Take a moment and consider if your wife actually wears jewelry before you buy her a new bracelet. Take pause to consider if she's ever sat down to watch a DVD, ever, before getting her a box-set.
  4. Something that you bought on sale just because it's on sale. Sure, that Keurig coffee machine is down $50, but does she need or want that? Yeah, that cashmere scarf and glove set is 60 percent off, but does she already have something like that? Just because it's on sale doesn't make it right.
  5. Something for the kids. Ouch, dude. Is that all you see her as? A mom? A goddamn sexless mom? Keep the kids out of your gift giving at all costs, my friends.

Feel free to use these tips for any and all gift giving occasions. 'Tis the season, after all.

What's the worst anniversary present you've ever received?


Photo via Public Domain Photos/Flickr



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

purpl... purpleflower514

I've really only recieved 1 anniversary gift and it was perfect- silk roses and a king sized kit-kat bar. I was pregnant and craving them like mad and when I got up in the morning there was one for me on the table.

Generally we don't give gifts, we spend the money on a nice dinner out or romantic getaway.

Jespren Jespren

I have 3 kids, 2 high energy preschoolers and a baby, trust me, sometimes 'something for the kids' is the best present in the world! Because the *real* present is quiet time/time for yourself while the kids are occupied. That 'something for the kids' might look like a poor present, but really it's the wrapping on an awesome present: a little time to not be 'just mom'.

Shandi80 Shandi80

Wow. I'm grateful to get presents, no matter what they are. Even better if they're homemade.

linzemae linzemae

There was a wine opener I have been eyeballing for years at walgreens. I'd be thrilled to get it

cassi... cassie_kellison

My husbands mom had gotten our son a build  it yourself bird feeder. My son and husband put it together, painted it and then gave it to me.. Really? I like it, it's not terrible, but his mom got it for me, not him

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

My husband tends to try to hard and it annoys the shit out of me. When he does gifts. Which isnt often.

hanna... hannahsmom238

Like the person who posted before my husband and I generally don't exchange gifts. We're more likely to go out to dinner or he'll take the kid and let me have the day to myself.

mommy... mommymonkey

I must be the odd one. My favorite gifts were 1. A shop-vac (christmas) 2. A garage storage shelf for tools (birthday) and 3. And most awesome of all a handmade storage box made out of the wheelchair ramp we used to have on the front porch.

Snort... SnortysMom

We really don't exchange gifts, but my husband will take me out somewhere nice for the day. We live near the coast and our anniversary is in Aug., so a day at the beach is always fun. We usually follow that up with a nice dinner. 

1-10 of 23 comments 123 Last