Let's be honest here: there aren't a lot of actual psychopaths in the world, but if you run into one, and happen to end up dating him, you should be aware of the signs. It can save you a LOT of heartache and potential fear down the road.
A psychopath, no matter HOW charming, is not someone you want to know, let alone allow into your life, so watch out for these red flags before you get sucked in and can't get out!
1) He's very charming - Now to be fair, not every person who is charming is a psychopath, but it's important to note that psychopaths often are very charismatic and slick and have an answer for everything.
2) He's a narcissist - A psychopathic person often thinks EXTREMELY highly of himself -- to the point where he's self-obsessed at the least and very egotistical at the worst.
3) He's a pathological liar - We all tell white lies now and then. You don't tell your friend her butt DOES look fat in those pants because you don't want to hurt her feelings. But a psychopath is quick to lie about anything - even the most inconsequential of things.
4) He's very manipulative - A psychopath is often very calculating and adept at using various tactics to make you feel a certain way -- whether it's guilt, shame, or something more sinister.
5) He feels no guilt - When things go wrong, or he is caught doing something like lying or manipulating you, he may charm his way out of your accusations, but does not actually feel any remorse for his behavior.
6) He lacks empathy - A psychopath doesn't care about your bad day or the plight of others, unless it affects him personally. While he may glibly manipulate you into thinking he DOES empathize, it's just a show.
7) He is totally irresponsible - He is both irresponsible (financially, emotionally) and reckless, leading a life of "that's tomorrow's problem," rather than weighing the costs and benefits of a decision.
8) He has had many previous marriages - Not every person who's been married a couple of times is a psychopath, but psychopaths often have had many short-term marriages and subsequent divorces.
Have you ever dated a psychopath? How did you figure it out and what did you do?
Image via JefferyTurner/Flickr
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Comments 27
I never dated a psychopath, but have known more than my share fare of narcissists. Narcissism is psychopathology lite--a less intense form of it. Look for cold eyes that seem to size you up immediately and go right through you.
I'm not a liar though. And have had multiple LTR, but not marriages. Even us crazies have some standards.
This describes my husband to a tea. This is actually somewhat scary if I put too much thought into it. He's onto his second marriage (but then again so am I), is extremely charming, couldn't give a crap about money (his credit rating is nonexistent and I didn't find out about it until after we got married), he lies all the time, is manipulative and likes to say its because he's in sales. Sh1t.
You need to read "The Sociopath Next Door," because to state that there are not very many psychopaths in the world is false. 1 in 25 people fits the profile.
Because the definitions blur, I think of psychopaths as sociopaths on steroids with the added propensity for violence toward anything or anyone that gets in their way. So, malignant narcissist (NPD) seems to describe what you're listing above. Either way, turn and run.