I met my husband in November of my freshman year of college. I was 18. He was 19. We were crazy for each other. I mean -- we weren't planning our wedding (I was never one of those girls clipping pictures out of wedding magazines) nor was I even looking for a relationship -- I had just started college for goodness sake. At the University of Miami of all places. The last thing I was thinking about was finding a boyfriend! But isn't that exactly when things happen? When you aren't looking for them?
We knew, almost immediately, that we were a good match. The connection between us was instantaneous, passionate, and strong.
We both cared about the same things. Family was important. Communication with each other was even more important. And trust was even more important than that.
But man, our dating and getting serious at such a young age -- it really freaked people out!
We ended up getting engaged during my senior year and at least half-a-dozen people tried to convince us (separately) that we were nuts and should wait to get married. My question back to them was always ... how long should I wait? Is there some magic number? By the time we were to get married -- assuming neither of us ran for the hills -- we would have been together for five years. Would seven years be enough? Do I have to wait until I am 28? Or maybe you need to be over 30 for a marriage to last?
No -- there is no magic number. If it is right -- it is right. Although it was a little disconcerting when, at my first work Christmas party, a very jaded divorcee pulled me aside and told me she was sure I would be divorced in five years!
So I realized through all of this that what really mattered wasn't what everyone was saying -- but rather how we felt. Were we ready? And we were.
At whatever age you get married, you need to understand that relationships will have ups and downs. It's not always going to be roses (though it's nice to get them) and lovey snuggles on the couch. My husband and I have had plenty of things we've had to work through over the years. After our first child was born we didn't like each other -- literally -- for about five months. But you figure out why ... because every problem has a solution ... and you work on fixing it. Not for a day. Not for a week. You really work on it -- until it is fixed. And in some cases it can't be fixed. And that's just the way it is. But how old you are when you get married has nothing to do with it.
Relationships provide us with a love and security and a strength that build over time -- but holding on to that relationship isn't always easy. Staying married is hard work. My mom's been telling me that since I was a little kid -- and she's happily married to my dad for 46 years.
My husband and I have managed to grow together -- and that's not luck. We talk about everything. We have the same goals for our family and understand we both must be happy individually too -- whether it's allowing him time to run his 40 miles a week or me taking a weekend away with my girlfriends.
Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. I am not sure how so much time has passed ... but two kids later, we are still madly in love.
So to all of you haters that thought we were crazy to get married so young ... we're still going strong.
Do you think people who marry young are more likely to get divorced?
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Comments 28
When my husband and I got married, I was 19 and he was 20. We were so young that of course we heard nothing but "You should really wait and live your lives a bit more before settling down so quickly!" But we knew what we wanted out of life. We just celebrated our 8 year anniversary and it's hard to imagine we've been married for that long. We dated for 2 years before getting married, so really I've spent literally over a third of my life with this man! We have two beautiful children and one more on the way.
Do I think everyone should get married young? Absolutely not. There are plenty of people we knew in high school who married young and divorced young and plenty who are still looking for that right person. It all depends on the two people involved. We were ready and we have a wonderful relationship and I can't wait to spend even more years with him!
Happy Anniversary!
We were married young as well. High school sweethearts. I met him when I was 13 and he was 15 but we didn't start "dating" until 16 and 18. Typical military story. We were 19 and 21 when we got married after he got back from his first deployment. We will celebrate 7 years of marriage in a little over a month. :) We have had our ups and downs but I maintain that the first year has been the hardest so far. We are still going strong and crazy about eachother. Marriage is work sometimes and sometimes it's the easiest thing in the world, but you don't give up at the first sign of trouble.
I think the statistics about young marriages not working have more to do with the fact that most young people don't want to work on it. Most probably don't take it seriously. Marrying young is not an automatic death sentence to your relationship. It all depends on the couple.
I was 20 and my husband was 21 when we got married. We bought our first house at 21 and 22. By the time we were 25 and 26 we had our two kids. We have now been married for almost 36 years. (I'm aging myself, now) Guess we were in a hurry to live our lives! That being said, I am so thankful that my kids did not do the same thing! Although we are still very much in love...we could have saved ourselves a whole lot of grief throughout our marriage by waiting for just a few more years and a little more maturity before getting married!
Happy Anniversary! My husband and I were 14 when we met. after years of on and off dateing, we were married at 25. Not as young, but we've been married almost 12 years, and have 2 daughters, ages 10 and 8. we've never been happier.
My husband and I met at 15 and got married at 18. We celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary earlier this year. I think age is just a number. People mature at different rates. My husband and I knew we wanted to be together forever. Many people told us it wouldn't last since we was so young. It has last and we are still very deeply in love and very happy.
Actually, if you look at the numbers- there isn't much of a difference in divorce rates and in fact many couples that marry 'older' in life then to not take to settling down very well and their divorce rate is higher! But, only by a little bit.
We married young- and have been together since we were 17. We celebrate 15 year together this year, 10 of them happily married and with 3 wonderful little people. I have to say, life is better today than ever- congrats to you! :-)