It's not uncommon to hear new parents gripe that not only are they not getting any sleep, but don't even ASK about their sex life -- which is totally in the dumper since junior came along. Sure, there are exceptions (like Tori Spelling who made headlines for ignoring doctor's orders to wait at least six weeks before getting intimate), but new research from Norway shows a newborn will sap your libido. The study found that relationship satisfaction, including sexual satisfaction, takes a major nosedive during the early stages of parenthood. Agh.
The finding echoes what Texas A&M researchers found, which is that 90 percent of new parents experience a sudden deterioration in sexual function after having a baby. In other words, as soon as you have a baby, you immediately get screwed out of maintaining a healthy, happy sex life?!
Not so fast.
There's a fix for a flagging libido -- whether it's post-baby or anytime in your life -- that sex therapists and scientists and even women I've met rave about: The "just do it" approach. Research (and anecdotal evidence!) really does show that if you just go for it with your partner -- even if you're not initially "in the mood" -- you end up craving it more. No, really! The more you do it, the more you want it. It has to do with sex being linked to a surge in testosterone levels that amps up sex drive for men and women.
Sure, when you really do have a headache, or you're totally stressed, or you're afraid you'll wake the baby, "just doing it" is at the bottom of your list. But I'd venture to guess more times than not, after most of us do just do it, we find the sexy, relationship-bolstering benefits definitely outweigh any initial "ugh" factor.
How do you feel about the "just do it" approach? Did you experience a libido nosedive after baby?
Image via Christine Szeto/Flickr
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Comments 7
truth. lol.
Are you kidding? At 6 weeks post-partum, still bleeding, boobs leaking, stomach blobbing - yeah, I was a sex machine.
If anything my libido has become over-active since having babies! My husband and I had sex a week and a half after I gave birth to #2 because my hormones were going crazy, used a condom and everything was fine. But I'm one of those rare people who's body isn't very phased by child birth. My flow was actually non-existent at that point.