Sex Confession: I Never Had an Orgasm During Sex

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shh"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

Today we're hearing it from Jessica* -- a 20-something wife and mom -- who has never had an orgasm during sex. But if you ask any of the guys she has done the deed with they will tell you otherwise. Yes, Jessica admits she's a faker and she insists she is happy that way. She says there's just a lot more involved in what it takes to get her to climax. And she's not interested in working out those finer details with her husband so she prefers you don't clue him in on it either. Let's delve more into Jessica's reasoning, shall we?

My husband doesn't know I fake my orgasms. There, I said it. I love him. He doesn't need to know that I am not pleasured in that way by him. Because I am -- so much so. Sex is great! I just can't orgasm. Never have been able to. It's not him and I don't want him to think it's something he is doing wrong, so why burden him with it? I've been with other guys in the past and the same thing -- no orgasm. I'm officially the 'I can't have an orgasm from sex' girl and I've made peace with it over the years.

I can orgasm from sex toys. From direct clitoral stimulation, but not during sex. And my husband and I do use toys from time to time, and we fool around and he has brought me to climax that way -- which is so great! But for the other times, I just pretend he gets me off, so he gets off, and everybody is happy. Even me. Sex can be great without me having an orgasm. So I think this little white lie is an okay one. I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate because he isn't. But it's the one and only time I lie.

Some people may think I'm a terrible wife. But I think in my situation, it's a good thing. I don't need to have an orgasm during sexy time to be satisfied. I can wait until after. And since I've been with my husband for six years, it's not like I can suddenly say 'Oh hi husband who knows me so well! I haven't had a sex orgasm ever. Didn't you know that about me? Yeah, I've been faking it this whole time.' See? That would be bad. Plus, I just don't think my body is wired to orgasm that way. Trying would take the fun out of it all.

What do you think of Jessica's confession? Should she fess up to her husband so they can work on getting her to climax? Or don't mess with what's not broke, since she says she's okay with it?

 

*Name has been changed.

Image via Jasmine Hutcherson/Flickr

orgasm, sex confession

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fleur... fleurdelys3110

I have the same exact problem, although I have never faked it during sex so my boyfriend knows I can't climax then. You should know that a very large percentage of women do not achieve vaginal orgasms during sex because there aren't as many nerve endings there as there are in the clitoris. It's a more common problem than you think.

nonmember avatar ChiliChowder

I love this confession! I'm so glad women are coming out with this sort of thing (in a way, at least) and being at peace with it. I have the same problem and I do the same thing with my boyfriend... he can please me so many ways; he just can't please me that particular way and that's okay.

MomLi... MomLily67

Superficial stimulation can make get have greater orgasms than those actually happening while being penetrated. I think the husband should be parts of their quest for this young woman to achieve this most pleasurable feeling. Positions in wich the male has more contact with her pubic region could help, also manually stimulating while penetratig her.  I really think she should look to achieve that feeling with the man she loves,

MomLi... MomLily67

Superficial stimulation can make get have greater orgasms than those actually happening while being penetrated. I think the husband should be parts of their quest for this young woman to achieve this most pleasurable feeling. Positions in wich the male has more contact with her pubic region could help, also manually stimulating while penetratig her.  I really think she should look to achieve that feeling with the man she loves,

Sarah Burgess

This is the stupidest excuse ever and something I am always alarmed at hearing. Girls who can't climax during sex but can with toys - HELLO, COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS! Why spent the rest of your life thinking you can't? I did for a long time, but then realzied it wasn't the guy, it was me! I wasn't communicating my needs or basically telling him which buttons to push. Now I know, and now I can finish any position, everytime. Society is at fault, letting women think we shouldn't be in-tune with ourselves or even masturabte with fear of social rejection. I call bull and this woman is a coward.

nonmember avatar A Guy

It doesn't take a genius to understand when women are faking it. There are several involuntary indicators that are well known. Anyone with an Internet connection, or has been with a few orgasmic women either already know or can easily find out.

For long term relationships, honesty is an excellent policy.

curly... curlygirl31

The toys are the problem.

Sleep... SleepingBeautee

How sad for her. I was in the same situation and didn't even want to have sex anymore. It just wasn't worth it. FInally I spoke up and told my husband exactly what I needed and now our sex life is killer. I am sad that I missed so much because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. If he isn't doing it right, then tell him how to change it. I think it is a huge disservice to your dh and your marriage to fake it all the time.

nonmember avatar Jessica

Omg! I thought it was only me...difference is yes I can orgasm but only in 1 position!! Its soo weird. Ive tried other positions && came close to reaching an orgasm but it always fails lol the good thing is that my boyfriend knows this so we work it out. I love him!! <3

Leah Klein

glad im not the only one, but we've never tried toys. maybe thats the way to go.

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