6 Darn Good Reasons You Shouldn't Move In Together

Love & Learn 16

Isn't it wonderful how when you're in the first blush of love you just want to spend alllllll your time with your partner? You just can't bear to be away from each other. And when you are, you call, email, text, send carrier pigeons with little love notes. After a few months, you begin thinking, Why should he go home at night and I go home at night and we don't see each other allllll night? Waaahhhh! So you move in together. And things are soooooo great at first. But then ... (cue scary music).

The stinky socks on the floor? Annoying. And why does he expect me to do the dishes? The next thing you know, you're big time fantasizing about an apartment of one's own. I know several couples who have been together long-term (one even married) and don't live together and it seems to work out excellent for them.

Here are six reasons not to move in together.

You don't have to compromise. The basis of any relationship is compromise. When you move in together, suddenly everything from what you watch on TV, to what movie you rent, to what music you listen to, to what you have for dinner is up for debate. Living alone, you get to please yourself. Go 'head and watch that Real Housewives marathon if you wanna. (I won't tell.)

Cleaning. It's true, when you live alone you do all of the chores and cleaning unless you hire someone else to do it. But neither do you seethe with resentment when someone else (cough him cough) doesn't do his share.

Mystery. Once you move in together, whatever sense of mystery you had about the other person quickly begins to drizzle away. You (unfortunately) hear him drop a loud deuce every morning after coffee, and he's seen you with your zit cream on pulling little hairs out of your chin, and your bloody tampons in the can. Unless you can afford separate bedrooms and bathrooms (preferably on separate floors), you can kiss your mysterious ways goodbye once you shack up.

Sex. When we're dating, we feel like we better get sex every time we see our s.o. or it might disappear! But when we live together, the sex doesn't get prioritized because you know he or she will be around tomorrow night, and the next night, and the next. A little tired after work? Want to catch up on that novel? Suddenly sex can wait. And wait ... and wait .... and waaaaaait ...

Mismatched lifestyles. When you don't live together, all of those differences between the two of you are part of why you like the other person. But suddenly when you're dealing with listening to his speed metal, or his grumpy mornings, or his allergic reactions to your cats, or his messy ways, those differences are less compelling and more straight-up batshit crazy making.

You can be ugly. Maybe it's me, but I always feel I have to look at least a little presentable for my man, and I tell you, it can be exhausting. Living alone means you can walk around make-up free, hair a rat's next pulled into a ponytail, in yoga pants and a stained T-shirt. You can also wear comfy but ugly clothes to bed. I'm not saying you should walk around in heels and a cocktail dress when you're living with someone, but if you're anything like me, you at least put on some lip gloss and give the hair a brush when there's a dude lurking. Being alone means you can relax and be your ugly self.

What things do you miss about living alone? If you live alone, what things do you love?

Image via Nico Paix

dating, commitment, living together, love


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mompam mompam

I don't miss anything about it. I've lived with my husband for 21 years

Mary Cimino

Do what I do to keep the mystery alive; hide somewhere in the house and when he comes looking for you jump out and yell SURPRISE BUTT SEX! and watch him scream like a girl.

nonmember avatar Krystle

LMAO to Mary's comment! That is hilarious!! My fiancee & I LOOOOVE scaring each other when we least expect it. The worst place though is in the shower, which I've learned the hard way (oops hehe). But I beg to differ on the sex part. If any hot blooded man is like my fiancee, the fact that I am there for the taking 24/7 (well, when we're home), the he WILL take advantage of it! "A little tired after work?" Muster up some energy, sister, cos that hot sack of gleaming muscle is rearing and ready to go! LOL

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Lmao mary! I miss all of the above. *sigh* oh do i miss it.....

nonmember avatar VictoriaMarquez

Haha Mary :) my fiancé and I moved in together after being engaged only afew months. I have to say I really love it. There have been many challenges and we really test each other's nerves sometimes, but it's worth it. We have actually never had any problems compromising, because we're both pretty easy going. It is not easy, but I can't imagine not seeing him when he gets home from work or waking up to him every morning.

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

I can see why it's work for some! I only learned last week that Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter bought two houses next door to each other, but don't live in the same house. I think that's pretty genius! I know I have some OCD tendencies that make me quite difficult to live with, so if it works for you, stick with it!

the4m... the4mutts

Whatever floats your boat, but I miss NOTHING about living alone. I love the help, the company, and even when we're on eachother's nerves we can both always be ourselves without being judged. Yes, even on ugly days, and yes, I still have "ugly Sunday" every week lol

doodl... doodlebut

I've actually never lived alone. I got married at 18 and went from my moms to my husband. But 15 years later and we're still loving it! Although I wouldn't mind my own room sometimes!

britn... britneykaren

I don't miss anything, my man is great to live with, and I love that everything is ours and not mine and his, makes things easy

WowIl... WowIllbeamom11

Good for you,  I don't miss anything about living alone, being in a relationship is about compromise, so if you're not willing to give, even a little, maybe you should reconsider being in relationship at all.

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