Isn't it wonderful how when you're in the first blush of love you just want to spend alllllll your time with your partner? You just can't bear to be away from each other. And when you are, you call, email, text, send carrier pigeons with little love notes. After a few months, you begin thinking, Why should he go home at night and I go home at night and we don't see each other allllll night? Waaahhhh! So you move in together. And things are soooooo great at first. But then ... (cue scary music).
The stinky socks on the floor? Annoying. And why does he expect me to do the dishes? The next thing you know, you're big time fantasizing about an apartment of one's own. I know several couples who have been together long-term (one even married) and don't live together and it seems to work out excellent for them.
Here are six reasons not to move in together.
You don't have to compromise. The basis of any relationship is compromise. When you move in together, suddenly everything from what you watch on TV, to what movie you rent, to what music you listen to, to what you have for dinner is up for debate. Living alone, you get to please yourself. Go 'head and watch that Real Housewives marathon if you wanna. (I won't tell.)
Cleaning. It's true, when you live alone you do all of the chores and cleaning unless you hire someone else to do it. But neither do you seethe with resentment when someone else (cough him cough) doesn't do his share.
Mystery. Once you move in together, whatever sense of mystery you had about the other person quickly begins to drizzle away. You (unfortunately) hear him drop a loud deuce every morning after coffee, and he's seen you with your zit cream on pulling little hairs out of your chin, and your bloody tampons in the can. Unless you can afford separate bedrooms and bathrooms (preferably on separate floors), you can kiss your mysterious ways goodbye once you shack up.
Sex. When we're dating, we feel like we better get sex every time we see our s.o. or it might disappear! But when we live together, the sex doesn't get prioritized because you know he or she will be around tomorrow night, and the next night, and the next. A little tired after work? Want to catch up on that novel? Suddenly sex can wait. And wait ... and wait .... and waaaaaait ...
Mismatched lifestyles. When you don't live together, all of those differences between the two of you are part of why you like the other person. But suddenly when you're dealing with listening to his speed metal, or his grumpy mornings, or his allergic reactions to your cats, or his messy ways, those differences are less compelling and more straight-up batshit crazy making.
You can be ugly. Maybe it's me, but I always feel I have to look at least a little presentable for my man, and I tell you, it can be exhausting. Living alone means you can walk around make-up free, hair a rat's next pulled into a ponytail, in yoga pants and a stained T-shirt. You can also wear comfy but ugly clothes to bed. I'm not saying you should walk around in heels and a cocktail dress when you're living with someone, but if you're anything like me, you at least put on some lip gloss and give the hair a brush when there's a dude lurking. Being alone means you can relax and be your ugly self.
What things do you miss about living alone? If you live alone, what things do you love?
Image via Nico Paix
Pens, pencils, markers, etc.