If guys can learn just one thing from this 50 Shades of Grey insanity that's consuming womanhood everywhere these days, it's this: women love Christian Grey. So short of becoming self-made billionaires, how are we regular guys supposed to compete with a good-looking, charming, well-dressed, philanthropic bachelor?
Believe it or not, we can.
There are plenty of things you can do to turn your wife on like he does with Anastasia Steele. And no, none of them involve piloting her on a private helicopter ride to your place. Here's a look at a few ways you can make your wife swoon by channeling your inner Christian Grey:
Elevator Action - The next time you're in an elevator alone with your wife, pin her to the wall and kiss her. Hard.
Dress the Part - Add some serious romance to the mix. Set up a date night to take your wife out to dinner, only really make an effort to dress up. Put on your best outfit or even a suit, if it's something that'll stop her in her tracks and make her say, "Wow!"
Spell It Out - It may sound crazy, but the next time you're in bed with your wife, tell her exactly what you want. Explain in delicious detail just what you'd like her to do to you. For added fun, go into specifics as to what you're then going to do to her.
Pay Attention - You don't need to send your other half first-edition copies of her favorite book. But you should pay attention to her hobbies and interests. Surprise her one day with a special gift related to those interests. It doesn't need to be expensive, just something that she'll truly love -- which not only shows you care but were listening!
Volunteer - Find a cause you're passionate about and volunteer. Help out a local charity or get heavily involved in your kids' school. Donating money is always helpful, but donating your time and skills can be even better. And your wife will certainly take notice.
Polish Your Armor - Prove that chivalry is far from dead. The next time your wife is harassed, cat-called, or otherwise given a hard time (whether it's at a bar, a party, or even the supermarket), come to her rescue fast. Don't even assess the situation; just have her back and take the offender out of the picture.
And hey, if none of these work for you, then just do what Christian does: surround yourself with tons of pretty blondes.
How does your man remind you of Christian Grey?
Photo via Aaron/Flickr