Christian Grey does not do this.
The Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon shows no signs of stopping, it's true. It seems all women, including political influencers, have either read, plan to read, or have something to say about the infamous series.

British politician Harriet Harman took it one step further this week when she admitted: "Because, let's be honest, what most women want is not a man who ties you to the bed, but one who unstacks the dishwasher while you watch the Great British Bake Off."

All I can say to that is: true dat. We ladies don't want to be spanked or hit or otherwise subject to hardcore S&M. Hell, most of the time, we don't even want sex. If you do the dishes, that is much hotter. Trust me. We have already covered REAL mommy porn, but there are 7 things way sexier than a spanking:

  • Doing the dishes without being asked: Imagine his soapy hands all wet and frothy, bent over the sink, his shirtless form exposed. He did it all on his own with no prodding. Trust me, it's much hotter than being beaten with a riding crop.
  • NOT throwing your socks on the floor: Where are those dirty socks? In the hamper, you say? Where they belong? I am drooling just imagining the shock and awe. It would be way more surprising than a quick swat on the behind.
  • Cleaning your whiskers out of the drain: Two little swipes with a paper towel and all those manly hairs are out of the sink. Sexy man.
  • Hanging your dry cleaning INSIDE the closet: Those plastic bags aren't very pretty. Taking the time to set the mood in the bedroom by NOT having plastic bags hanging on the wall is hot, indeed.
  • Folding my clothing: If this ever happened I would be forced to jump his bones immediately.
  • Making dinner, unasked: The key to most of these is not being asked. Being a giant nag does take a toll on the old libido.
  • Saying, "Honey, go take a bath. I'll handle bedtime": If you want to get laid, don't use cheesy lines or tell us to stop biting our lips. Just tell us to take some alone time. You will get some. Promise.

What does your fantasy Christian Grey do?