I once found myself in one of those off-and-on, up-and-down type relationships that Katy Perry sings about. In the midst of one of our like clockwork-like "down" moments, I turned to a friend and asked, "How do you know when to give up on a relationship?" She looked at me as if to say, "If you're asking that question ..."

There generally comes a time when something happens and you just know it's over. I'm not even necessarily talking about billboard-sized problems like abuse or cheating.

Here are 11 ways you know your relationship might be over.

1. You need two or three glasses of wine just to have a civil conversation with your man.

2. You'd rather read a book than have sex ... for the 300th night in a row.

3. Your man's friend from out of town comes to visit and asks you how long you two have been married or dating. It slowly dawns on you that your man isn't telling anyone about you.

4. Like Woody Allen does in Annie Hall, you find yourself stopping happy-looking couples on the street and asking them what their secret is.

5. You think about doubling your husband's life insurance policy ... just in case.

6. You find yourself introducing pretty women to your man ... hoping he might start an affair with one of them.

7. Your man calls from work and says he'll be home early. Your heart sinks.

8. Whenever you find yourself talking to an attractive man, you start using "I" when you should be saying "we," i.e., "I had a nice weekend in the country." You conveniently forget your husband was in the country with you.

9. Your arguing to non-arguing ratio is at least 2:1.

10. You deliberately look for restaurants with live music so you won't be forced to have a conversation with your man over dinner.

11. You can't believe your single friends have the NERVE to complain how tough dating is.

Even if you've hit all 11 of these at one point or another, that doesn't mean your relationship can't be saved -- if you even want that at this stage. Provided BOTH parties want to save it and are willing to work hard to do so, even the most sickly relationships can be revived. But perhaps, as Carole King sang, Something inside has died, and I can't hide it, I just can't fake it ... Ohhhh nooooooo ...

How have you known when a relationship is over?


Image via Penelope Waits/Flickr