Men's Underwear Decoded: His Skivvies Reveal How Good He Is in Bed

men in underwearIt's 5:45 p.m. and the lights are turned down low. Two mugs of room temperature boxed wine are resting on top of that awesome stand-alone fireplace you bought last year from those friendly Amish folks on the TV. Your R. Kelly mix CD is poised for play, and so are you. Slowly, seductively, your male friend takes off his shirt and you think, Is that chest hair and a third nipple? Score. You take your eyes off the forest that is his sagging breasts long enough to see a Redskins helmet tattoo peeking out from his elastic jeans waistband, and you're into it. Then he takes a deliberate, sexy walk around your air mattress and stops to remove his pants, revealing his underwear. The moment of truth has arrived.

Here are 5 things your man's underwear says about his style in the boudoir. Bow chicka bow wow.

Photo via nathanmac87/Flickr

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Rando... Randomlady

That intro was 50x better than 50 shades of grey, hilarious.

SaphireH SaphireH

What in the hell? There's no mention of boxer briefs, tightie wighties and no undies

nonmember avatar Guest

most women these days deceive themselves into believing that any guy would want to have sex with THAT is funny.Does a woman in a thong mean she's easy and has beded half the town ??

GlowW... GlowWorm889

I feel a little jaded. The only thing I noticed for the poly-blend was that he looks really badly sunburned. XD

Christina Reyna

No no Loosey Goosey boxers means Yea I might not be married or watch kids at the moment, But I treasure my nut sack and I know if the boxers or pants are too tight my spermies wont swim, Theylly be no baby making when I want it.

marie... mariewyatt

My husband's boxer briefs show that he is color blind, that I'm occasionally very persuasive and, that I care more about his boys having support than he does. Haha, the only article of clothing I could get him to go my way on.

nonmember avatar Alan

Wow, you have NOTHING good to say about ANY of these male types! Well I wear tightie whities (or is it whitie tighties?) because if you are shallow enough to judge a man by his underwear, then I really don't care what you think.


My husband goes commando. So what does your creative, stereotypical and probably wrong imagination say about him?

Jorie Thomas

I don't agree with the loose boxers one... every guy I've ever known that wears them is more of a laid back, likes the outdoors, and loves the freedom of not being sucked up into any other type.

cdjak cdjak

That was 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back...


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