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8 Scary Sex Toys That Will Make You Want Your Mommy (PHOTOS)

by Sasha Brown-Worsham September 17, 2012 at 4:14 PM
2 of 9

Image via divine-interventions

Virgin Mary Dildo

I am not a religious person. I am also not Christian. But dude. I still think this MIGHT be a little sacrilegious. Just a thought. I do wonder about the person would purchase this. Is the idea of defiling the Virgin Mary really such a fantasy for someone?

I am not a religious person. I am also not Christian. But dude. I still think this MIGHT be a little sacrilegious. Just a thought. I do wonder about the person would purchase this. Is the idea of defiling the Virgin Mary really such a fantasy for someone?

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Filed Under: slideshow, sex toys
Sasha Brown-Worsham
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sasha Brown-Worsham

can't decide whether she is a mother, writer, or runner, but is usually all three at some point each day. She has written for dozens of print magazines, newspapers, and websites. She rarely ever writes on bathroom walls.

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Comments 17

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Nonmember comment from Zuri
September 17, 2012 at 8:50 PM
WTF are these??? Aren't sex toys weird enough on their own?
4cadi...
4cadillac
September 18, 2012 at 9:27 AM
sum people have sick desires.
Facebook comment from RoseAnne G Di Nubila
September 21, 2012 at 2:54 AM

Oh, MAN! This has to be the Best AND Most FUNNY Article I have read on here yet! WTG on this one Sasha-Brown Worsham! I laughed my ass off at this article, and your take on them! High 5!

ididn...
ididntdoit111
September 21, 2012 at 3:04 PM
I laughed so hard over the Anal Ring Toss I almost rolled off the couch!!
nonmember avatar
Nonmember comment from Leo H.
September 22, 2012 at 3:24 PM
HEY! Let's not get all sexist here. I don't believe ring toss is expected to be a female receiving toy. I don't see anything about that that doesn't say, unisex opportunity. If he's man enough. ;-)
Carol99
Carol99
September 23, 2012 at 6:03 AM

I thought they were all hilarious except the spandex suit.  You could suffocate.

Oksan...
Oksana5041
September 23, 2012 at 11:57 AM

the blow job machine looks like a penis, whops, pencil sharpener

Facebook comment from Mort U. Weary
September 30, 2012 at 2:09 AM

the virgin mary dildo is but one of an entire collection of christian themed sex toys, including  jesus butt plug. I suppose the idea is if you are going to  plot a course to hell, may as well buy the first class ticket. and holy f*ck, why aould anyone want to e wrapped in tht scary god awful purple bndage thingy? I feel trapped if my belt is too tight.

nonmember avatar
Nonmember comment from Darein
October 1, 2012 at 4:29 PM
I have to say the only thing crazy I saw in this was the way that they were being reacted to. I have worked for years as a trainer in the world of BDSM and I have seen things that would make most people lock themselves away and fear for the light of day. The simple fact is that each one of these has its use and frankly most of them started out as psychological tools to help people express themselves more in ways they could not in public. As for the christian themed toys and such there is a rule that states 'The more innocent and pure a thing is the more pleasure there comes from corrupting it' In most cases the idea behind these things is to express yourself in a way that the world typically looks down on in a place where you are comfortable and can trust the other person to not destroy you or expose you, unless ofcourse you are into that sort of thing. If you truely want to be disturbed then you should write a piece on a trend a few years ago called Splitting. Otherwise I found each one you refer to as scary to be frankly barely scratching the surface and boring.
nonmember avatar
Nonmember comment from DCOLEJR
October 4, 2012 at 3:29 PM
That binder suit is nice and all but what the hell are you supposed to do with/in it? Pointless.
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