Sex. It's such a simple, animalistic instinct. But it can be a wonderful, intimate time you spend with someone you love dearly or a great way to release pent-up frustrations. There's a lot to like about sex.
But not all sex is created equal, which is why it's important to avoid THIS kind.
1) Coercion Sex - one of the worst types of sex to engage in is the sex that you don't really want to have, but you're doing it because if you do it he'll just leave you alone and let you go back to sleep. While it might SEEM like the path of least resistance, it'll make you feel badly enough about yourself after the fact that it's just not worth it.
2) Obligatory Sex - while this type of bad sex goes hand-in-hand with coercion, it's a little different. This is the type of sex you have out of obligation, because you feel like it's your duty as a wife or girlfriend. Not very fun or romantic.
3) Rebound Sex - while most of us have had this kind of sex after our hearts are broken, it's not the kind that truly tends to make us feel better. It often ends up making us feel worse because we've just given away an intimate piece of ourselves -- and for what? It's not like the person who broke our heart cares.
4) Depressed Sex - most of us don't feel turned on in the slightest while we're feeling down. While sex does release endorphins (our brain's pleasure chemicals), we need to be in the mood for sex before we can consider it to be worthwhile.
5) 'If I Give It Up, He'll Love Me' Sex - it happens. We dig a guy - a lot - and we feel as though if we have sex with him, we'll end up getting him to fall for us. It doesn't work that way, and no condoms can protect the heartbreak it can cause us.
6) Wasted Sex - it may SEEM like a good idea to go home with that cute guy from the bar and get down and dirty. But if you're drunk and about to engage in sexual activity, you're more likely to take risks and put yourself in a dangerous situation.
7) UN-Safe Sex - sure he says he's infertile. Or that he's clean. But how do you know it's true? His word? You're placing your own personal well-being at risk if you decide that un-safe sex is okay. And that's not good.
What are some of the other types of sex to avoid?
Image via Zorah Olivia/Flickr
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Comments 33
disagree with the depression one, too. SOMETIMES a little closeness like that is just what you need to bring you out of it. I'm talking a mild depression/funk, not clinical, lasts-for-months depression, here.
Obligatory sex is on par with rape. If you don't want to but do it because your"man" is going to feel a little butt hurt about it- that is emotional rape, ladies. Give me a break. If you don't want to- don't have sex. If it is a constant thing, then go to a doctor and have a check up to make sure that there is not a physical reason for your lack of desire. Sex is supposed to be fun (for both) and fulfilling (for both)- not something you do so your whiny baby husband doesn't pout about it.
Rebound sex is sometimes the pill you need if you've been hurt. Nothing like good sex and feeling desirable to salve the wound. Obligatory sex can be fine--sometimes I may not be in the mood, but my man, who works hard and faces a lot of stress could use some lovin'. So if my head isn't exactly there, I extend that offer anyway. There are lots of times he does things for me that he's not always 100% in the mood for.
I have never felt shame or regret from "obligatory" sex with my husband. Sometimes he's stressed and needs an outlet, and I'm not in the mood and don't have enough ambition to get there. Doesn't mean that I can't indulge him for a few minutes. He doesn't expect or demand it, but he's grateful when it happens. And interestingly, I find that there's still an "afterglow" even if I don't "get there." We both sleep better (and not just because he's not pawing me in the middle of the night... lol). It's no different than any other kind of selfless gesture we might make in the relationship. No different than him giving me a back rub after a stressful day at work even though he's tired too. There are all kinds of ways and reasons to make love.
Wow, I also don't feel shame or like I was raped when I have obligatory sex with my husband. Jeez, a solid loving relationship means that at times you put your spouse needs ahead of your own. Hell, most nights I don't feel like cooking dinner for my kids but If I don't, they might starve!!! My husband is loving, trusting and understanding if I really don't want to have sex so I am loving and understanding of his needs too. Marriage is all about give and take and my husband and I both do things for each other that sometimes we really don't want to. This is way so many marriages don't last anymore...no one wants to put work in to it.
Rape is non-consensual sex, pure & simple. "Obligatory sex" is a choice. Sometimes going out of your way to please your man turns into good sex for both, anyway. Eileen: on a personal note, my financial assets are substantially more than my husband's.
on't really think "obligatory sex" is comparable to rape, especially when only done on occassion. It's a choice. Marriage really is about the give and take. This isn't one of those "having sex right now would make me sick to my stomache" give ins, it's just when you're not really in the mood but your partner needs it (generally for emotional reasons). I've done it for my husband and I know he's done it for me too when I really need to feel that closeness but he's feeling tired or has a headache. We don't expect or demand it, but it's a really beautiful gesture (in my opinion) and knowing that we're willing to give ourselves to each other selflessly in those moments of need makes our love grow stronger. The tender moments that follow are a testiment to that and I believe that some of those "obligatory" moments have really deepened our relationship. Sometimes you need that reaffirmation of affection and love in that special way (there are others, but this one is different). There was one particular night where I was the one in need and I tear up everytime I think of how grateful I am for it.