8 Lies You Hear About True Love -- Debunked!

Love & Learn 4

People are ALWAYS ready to spout their opinions about true love - especially the ones who are fairly jaded in what they once considered to be "true love." The bad news is that they may be speaking THEIR truth. The good news is, their truth doesn't always mean it's YOUR truth.

Here are some popular myths about true love -- and why they're not always true.

1) "Once you get married, the sex dwindles."

This one may have some basis in reality - when you get married and (especially if) you have kids, life gets busier, which means you're sometimes too tired for sex. But if you both decide to make sex a priority, this won't happen.

2) "You only have one soulmate."

This braggy statement seems to be ever-popular among those who have FOUND their soulmate, but where does that leave those of us who are divorced? Do we really only get one shot at true love? No. We don't.

3) "If you're with the person who's right for you, you won't fight."

I couldn't laugh harder at this particular statement because it's so naive. Even people who love each other with all their hearts fight SOMETIMES. It's what happens when you're living a life with another person.

4) "You'll love doing the same things."

One of the easiest ways to lose oneself in a relationship is to believe that you and your partner must enjoy the same activities WITHOUT fail. Until my partner finds that he loves knitting as much as I do, pretty sure that one is a pile of poo.

5) "If you find true love, you'll never be unhappy."

Basing your eternal happiness upon another soul is setting yourself up for both codependency and failure. Life's full of ups and downs. How you react to them is what counts - your partner can't make you less unhappy any more than he can change your eye color by sheer force of will.

6) "Women need a knight in shining armor to 'rescue' them."

Ladies, if you're waiting on another person to "rescue" you from your life, you're not living. I suggest turning off the Rom Coms and rescuing yourself.

7) "If you've found your true love, you'll never be alone again."

Even if you've found true love, that doesn't mean there won't be days, weeks, even months, where you don't feel alone. Because sometimes, there's a very real place inside all of us that cannot be touched by another - we have to walk it alone.

8) "The only kind of love you really need in life is romantic, true love."

Each of us must be okay with accepting love from other places - our friends, our work, our children - and knowing that these various kinds of love do exist and are healthy. Relying on one person for love is a set-up for failure.

What are some other lies about true love that you can think of?

Image via mozzercork/Flickr

love, marriage


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chick... chick92282

One thing I've heard and don't believe is that if you really love someone (really, REALLY love them) you'll never feel attracted to another person ever.  I don't believe it because I think it's not that the occasional attraction goes away but that you make a conscious choice, a commitment, to never act on them.  Plus, the occasional crush can actually make a relationship stronger.  

Em Chappell-Root

Real Love isn't any of this crap, it's not your lips burning for three days after the first kiss, it's not the passion or the horny-ness. Real love is being broke, the babies crying, the dog just threw up, you're tired, you're irritable, the washing machine isn't working, everything is going wrong, and you're still better together, no matter how much work it takes from BOTH of you, than you could ever be apart. Real Love is commitment and fighting to make it work, because you're excited to see what 10, 20, 30 years down the road will bring you, TOGETHER. 

nonmember avatar Frugle Mom

Real Love is when we understand It is a commitment and takes work but totally worth fighting for!

Todd Vrancic

Real Love is when you look at your partner and see the person you fell in love with every time.

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