Woman Who Went on 50 Dates in 6 Months Isn't Crazy at All

Love & Learn 8

couple on a date wineAt any given moment of the day, most of us are multi-tasking. Texting while cooking and watching TV. Reading while commuting and listening to Pandora. So it definitely seems to follow that singles these days aredoing the same thing in their love lives. Apparently, the latest trend in searching for a partner is called "multi-dating."

A recent survey revealed nearly a quarter of single women are dating up to three men at the same time. (Whoohoo, you go, ladies!) And a Daily Mail writer named Pippa Wright recently admitted that she's one of them. She's been on 50 dates in six months in an attempt to find The One. I know -- but it's not as shocking as it sounds. Intense "multi-dating" isn't exactly a new concept. It's simply what single women -- usually those living in big, hectic, busy cities -- often have to do to find the right partner.

Once upon a time when I was a single girl livin' in L.A., my roommate told me she was impressed with how much I dated. I was going about it as if it was a second job, because I was that serious about finding someone and starting a real, long-term relationship.

I'd definitely date multiple guys at once, following the "safety rules of multi-dating" Wright notes, which include keeping dates short, not drinking too much, meeting somewhere public (and preferably a place you know so you're not stranded in a strange neighborhood) and always telling a friend where you're going. Until I met a guy with whom things felt truly right -- which wasn't 'til I met my now-fiance -- I felt like there was no reason to devote all of my time and energy to any one guy.

Doing what Wright and I did may sound stressful -- it can be -- but it turns out to be the best bet statistically for launching a happy relationship. The average single woman who dates just one man at a time goes out with just five men a year. As Pippa puts it, "Five dates a year? It's hardly trying, girls." Like it or not, you're definitely lowering your odds when you focus on just one potential partner at a time. I strongly believe the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances will be for finding the right one.

I know it can occasionally feel heartless to date so many guys at once, but it's in a single gal's best self-interest to. (Also, what do you think they're doing?) Until you know you confirm (verbally is usually best) that you're both into one another enough to put commitment on the table, there's no reason not to keep moving forward and saying "NEXT!" You're just doing what you gotta do to find love.

Would you or did you "multi-date"?


dating, love

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Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I wouldn't. If a guy is worth dating he's worth not cheating on. If a guy was dating other women while he was dating me I'd dump him because I wouldn't waste my time on a slut.

.LoVe... .LoVeMyBuG.

I am so happy I am not single and dating. I think it's pretty of effed up to lead a guy on while your out with a different guy every night. If this was a man writing this article and roles were reversed with him dating several women at once you can bet he would be ripped apart for it! To each their own I guess. 

DebaLa DebaLa

As long as everyone's following the same playbook, I would do it. I think it's fine, we're just talking a lot of 1st dates here for the most part. How is that cheating? Until there's a commitment, and everyone's above board, all's fair...

AniAngel AniAngel

Dating does not make you someones boyfriend/girlfriend, so yes dating multiple people casually is just fine. If you don't give someone the wrong idea you are most certainly not cheating.

Vanessa Taylor

I'm a dating coach and I think this sounds great! Congrats to this woman who had the heart to go out on all of these dates on nights I'm SURE she wanted to stay home, deal with the let down of NOT finding the one on 49 of them, putting up with the conversation she probably couldn't stand, and finding her fiance. This woman DESERVES marriage and I bet she never divorces because her nuptuials mean that much to her! CONGRATULATIONS!

NewMo... NewMomma.S

I have multi dated and see nothing wrong with it. I had no commitment to any one guy and dating several people does not mean you hanger to sleep with several people. Recently single I wanted companionship that wouldn't get boring, three guys made that possible. Looking for a boyfriend it increased my chances of finding a great guy, and I did. He turned into the father of my children and my husband, worked out great!

Angi Watson Dudas

As long as you are safe, I see no problem with it.

nonmember avatar Joshua

Ronda, going on date or two with someone doesn't mean you're in a relationship. If there's no commitment, then there's no cheating. And going on dates does not necessarily mean you're sleeping together. If I go skydiving, rock climbing, and kayaking with three new girls in a week, am I honestly cheating on any of them?

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