10 Ridiculously Outdated Dating Rules -- Revised!

Rant 46

There are so many "rules" you're supposed to follow when you start dating someone. Some people even swear by these outdated rules, which makes me sad in the pants because really, we're not in the 1960s any longer. And those rules are mostly a crock of crap.

Without further ado, I will present these outdated relationship rules, debunk them, and offer some much better, newer, more applicable alternatives.

Outdated Rule 1: The man always pays when you go out.

Revised Rule: Make a play for the check once it comes because it will make you look super-powerful and completely independent.

Outdated Rule 2: Men open doors for ladies.

Revised Rule 2: Make getting the door a game - whoever gets it first is the winner and clearly stronger (not to mention better-looking).

Outdated Rule 3: The guy needs to call first.

Revised Rule 3: Without stalking him and calling him 87,264 times and hanging up when he answers, there's NO REASON you can't call a guy you've just met to say "hi."

Outdated Rule 4: Playing hard-to-get is sexy.

Revised Rule 4: Playing hard-to-get is bitchy. Dudes don't dig bitchy chicks. Doesn't mean you need to stalk the guy, but you can be clear about what you want and don't want in a relationship.

Outdated Rule 5: When you're dating someone serious, you have to be joined at the hip.

Revised Rule 5: You're not conjoined twins - keep your time together special and don't let that impact the rest of your life. Otherwise, you might have to have that surgery to be removed from each other and NO ONE wants that.

Outdated Rule 6: Neither of you had much of a romantic past before you got together and it was deliberate -- you both were "saving yourselves."

Revised Rule 6: There's no reason to pretend you live in a Disney movie and had been waiting for your knight in shining armor. Wake up, Princess, and smell the 21st century!

Outdated Rule 7: You can't do the deed until you've been on at least 37 dates.

Revised Rule 7: As long as you're safe about the sex you're having and you feel comfortable when you decide to go for it, why wait? Sex is a normal, healthy thing to do, and while you don't have to be slutty, it's healthy to want to have sex with someone you like.

Outdated Rule 8: Date night is on Saturday. End of story.

Revised Rule 8: Saturday is Saturday and spend it as you please - with or without your partner. I suggest Monster Truck Rallies, but those tend to be on Sunday, if my television isn't lying.

Outdated Rule 9: Don't move in together before you're engaged.

Revised Rule 9: Don't move in together before you're READY to move in together. It's a big step. And if you want to waltz down the aisle with this guy, it's probably a safer bet to do so AFTER you know if you're good at being roommates.

Outdated Rule 10: Marriage is the end-all-be-all, so that should be your ultimate goal.

Revised Rule 10: While marriage can be a wonderful union, it's not necessary for survival. You can be domestic partners for as long as you so desire. Don't let ANYONE talk you into marriage before you're ready.

What are some other outdated relationship rules we need to revise?


Image via labdog2010/Flickr



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nonmember avatar Sarah.S.

Sorry but your 'revised rules' don't work for me. I happen to believe that classic relationship guidelines work for me and they seem to work well for those around me as well.
I am glad that these 'revisions' work for you, but maybe you can stop trying to shame people for living differently than you. It may not be 1960 any more, but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the way things worked in 1960!

the4m... the4mutts

I want to add my opinion on who should pay in a new dating relationship:

Whoever asks the person out, should pay. Its rude to ask someone out, and expect them to pay, period.

Men don't like it when they ask you out, and you make a play for the check. Its a bruise to their ego unless it was discussed ahead of time that it'd be a "dutch" date.

nonmember avatar Kate

UGH, in general, what horrid advice. Women want to be valued and respected, and the bulk of this so calld advice devalues and disrespects herself, and allows others to do it too.

nonmember avatar Doug

This seems to be a guide, on being more like Sandra Fluke, a woman who needs $3000 worth of condoms and birth control pills. This does not sound like the dating game plan of a woman who has self respect, morals, and a vision of how her present actions might have a detrimental effect on her future. Also, men are supposed to be men. They are supposed to open doors, pay checks, and prove that they are worthy. Why would we want to play games like,"who can get to the door the fastest"? Are we talking about 13 year olds? I don't think so, because you suggest the have sex as soon as they feel like it, and don't worry about getting married. When I read this article, the first thing I think of is that a 17 year old guy who is trying to get laid wrote this so he could send it to the girl he is trying to have sex with, to "loosen" her up.Hopefully the woman who read this, forget this real fast, because this is not the road map to a happy and successful life. I find it interesting that you say "Don't let ANYONE talk you into marriage before you're ready", but you do not say that about having sex? You say playing hard to get is"bitchy", but what it really is, is a way for you to figure out who is willing to go through the extra steps to win you over. You are telling girls to give it up if you want to, but when has it ever been a good idea to do everything that you want to? By the way, Sat.is date night because a man works for a living. Sat.is his day off. I do agree with 3 and 5.

Rachel Schiller

If the guy I'm with doesn't open the door for me I assume that he was raised by trash or he is to into himself to want to be with me. Either way it take it as a HUGE sign that we are destined to only be friends (yes, I am that shallow that I wouldn't stay with a guy who's family I didn't like. When you marry a guy you marry his family).

nonmember avatar Happydad

@Rachel S

Are you a believer in modern feminism or that men and women should be treated the same in all circumstances? If so then you have no right to expect a man to open the door for you simply because you are a female. You can't have feminism and chivalry, its one or the other.

purpl... purpleflower514

There is not a thing wrong with expecting to be treated like a lady.

nacho... nachoqtpie

My 13 year old son even opens doors for ladies!! I've been teaching him to treat a woman like a woman and not some object. If I ever found out he was dating a female that employed these tactics I would be FURIOUS! There is NO reason why men should not act like REAL men and hold doors, pay checks, and wait until they are married to have sex and move in with each other. 

Angi Watson Dudas

How about make your own rules?! We need to stop letting society tell us what to do with our relationships.  If I want to sleep with 1 guy or 9 or none, that is my business. 

momof... momof3cuties987

This is great advice for someone who doesn't want to get married and be respected.  Good job!!

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