Birthday Girl Courtney Stodden Is Way Too Classy to Do Porn

Say What!? 11

Courtney Stodden turns 18 tweet

Just when we almost forgot all about her, America's most famous child bride sweetheart Courtney Stodden goes and turns 18 today, forcing us all to remember why we even care. Oh yeah, it's the "shock us with her underage sexuality" thing. But, now that she's 18, being married to a 52-year-old isn't so icky or scandalous (debatable). Hooker outfits at school playgrounds? Meh. You see that every day. So how can she exploit herself for attention now? She can star in porn movies, of course, and don't you know it, the porn offers are already pouring in. Except ... Courtney Stodden is not going to do it, mark my words. She is much too good for porn.

Hey, not that there's anything wrong with porn. I'm sure it takes a certain talent and it totally has its place in the world. Would she be great at porn or what, though? This girl was born for that industry, she would make a killing at it, and I'm sure that hunky hubby of hers Doug would gets such a thrill watching ... but Courtney won't go the way of Octomom. That's way too expected of her. Way too out there. Leaves nothing to the imagination. Courtney is the Queen of Tease. This just would not suit her.

In just two short years Courtney has turned her teasy, flaunty, raunchy exhibitionist displays into an art form. Her tweets are so lascivious they are damn hilarious, like this birthday themed one, in case you missed it (because you know you are following her admit it):

Only 2 more days until I get to blow eighteen ... ummm ... candles ;) xxx

That is PURE Courtney and we love her for it. Keep it coming, babe! Don't let a little number hold you down! We know that little blond head of yours is cooking up some crazy schemes to keep the world on edge, just waiting to see how you're going to push the envelope now that you are all growed up. Plus you can always hope for Playboy. Happy Birthday, Courts. xxx. Cyn.

What do you think is the next logical career move for Courtney?

 

Image via Twitter

celebrity, movies, erotica, sex

11 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Maias... MaiasMommy619

She may not wanna do porn but that doesn't change the fact that she is a slore!

NatAndCo NatAndCo

Is today opposite day or something?

nonmember avatar Rachel

I still can't believe she's 18. She looks at least a decade older.

RoughGem RoughGem

Reality show is next, IMO; probably no one wanted to touch the legal issues of a 17-year-old acting so skanky before.


Then, a few years later, when her show's long dead and she's divorced and looking for someone to please pay attention to her, she'll finally turn to porn.

nonmember avatar LizzieBorden

Not yet anyways, once her "star" starts waning I'm sure she'll take the offers up. Just like Octomom, who swore she'd never do it either. These people know no bounds, which is why they're famous for the spectacles they've made of themselves.

cmjaz cmjaz

I would knock my daughter into next week if she was like courtney. Poor girl thinks its all fun now but in 10 years....not so much

tuffy... tuffymama

She's thirty-eight if she's a day. Her whole "situation" makes me need a shower. With black tar soap and a wire brush. *shudder*

sberr... sberry0509

I have no clue who this Courtney girl is lol

Heath... HeatherMazzone

You give this girl WAY too much credit. She won't do porn? Noooo, of course not. *eyeroll*

Texas... TexasGirl512

To the author, ARE YOU ON DRUGS????

1-10 of 11 comments 12 Last