There's nothing like new love, when all is perfect, until one day, it totally sucks and you're getting divorced. And nothing is worse than getting divorced unless it's also handing half of your earnings over to your despised soon-to-be-ex. Especially if, say, you make waaaaaaay more money than your despised soon-to-be-ex. Don't get me wrong, if one party has given up their career to stay home and take care of children, then that spouse deserves at least half of everything earned during a marriage. But if both parties are working and one party makes, say, $20 million a film, while the other party makes, say, bupkis, then you're forking over your hard-earned cash out of the goodness of your heart -- or the stupidness of your brain.
Hello, Jen Aniston? I'm talking to you, girl. Because rumor has it that Jen is refusing her advisors' advice to get a pre-nup before her marriage to Justin Theroux. Jen, m'dear? They're called "advisors" for a reason.
Jen, who is reportedly worth about $120 million, and Justin, who has a few nickels in his pocket (I keed, I keed), come into their marriage with wildly different earnings potential. Rather, Justin has the potential to earn. Jen will earn.
That means that if Jen and Jus ever decide to untie the knot, Justin is going to make out like a bandit -- with Jen's cash. I'm sure he's a great guy or Jen wouldn't be marrying him, but Brad seemed like a great guy, too, amiright?
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No one can fault Tom Cruise for going into his marriages with iron-clad pre-nups. Katie Holmes reportedly walked away with child support, but nothing for herself. Both women and men cheered Katie's determination to pack up her bags, sling Suri over her hip, and exit le marriage without a farthing.
So why is Jen being such a "dumb" girl? Ladies, if you've got far more earning potential than your mate, protect yourself! This is no fault divorce country, 'memba? That means even if your mate cheats with 50,000 women, he's still going to get half. (Which worked out well for Tiger Woods' wife, Elin, but won't for Jen.)
Jen, I suggest you take a phone call with Madonna, who reportedly paid out almost $100 million to her ex, Guy Ritchie. Or Roseanne. Or Reese Witherspoon. I know you'll be married forever, of course you will, no doubt about that ... but, um, what if you're not?
This advice goes for men, too, natch. And if you feel it's unfair to your beloved, you can always hammer out a fair pre-nup in which the other party gets a settlement depending on number of years married, number of years not working, amount of kids, blah blah blah. This isn't rocket science. It's math!
But too many times with the ladies, it's all about luuuuurv. Until the day he comes home and says he's in luuuuurv with the nanny. Then when he and the nanny are living off your earnings, it's not so lovey-dovey. You listening, girlfriend?
Do you think Jen should get a pre-nup?
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