So you met this guy, right? And he's awesome. He's got the moves, he talks the talk, walks the walk, and frankly, he's perfect...sort of. Sure you can overlook some of the obvious discrepancies in his stories; and maybe there's that other red flag over there...but he's great! Perfect!
...mostly.
Until that nagging feeling in your gut tells you that something is off and you look behind the curtain and see that things are not what they seem.
Here are some of the signs your man? He's using you.
1) He doesn't really make much effort to get to know you - the real you. In fact, he's more interested in telling you how fabulous he is than asking you how your day was.
2) He doesn't pay for anything - doesn't matter if he arranged the dinner or coffee, he's mysteriously broke. All the time.
3) When you do spot him dinner or lunch, he doesn't even thank you for it - it's almost like he expects it.
4) He's totally happy with you paying for his bills - all of them. Rent, car payment, cell phone; you name it - you owe him this one, right? He is, after all, such a great guy (just listen to him tell you!).
5) You're the reason he has no job, car, money - you've done something to "make him this way."
6) You can't remember the last time he made any attempt to make you feel "special" or appreciated - no birthday cards or flowers, no nothing.
7) He only shows you affection when he wants to get you between the sheets.
8) He's only around when he needs you for something.
9) You've never met his family, friends, co-workers or anyone he knows. He'll only hang out if it's the two of you.
10) He doesn't return calls, texts, or emails unless it's because he wants something.
11) His ex is in the picture - whether or not he's blocked you on his Facebook account, they're still hanging out together. But they're really "just friends."
12) There's never any mention of the future together. In fact, if you bring it up, he gets flustered and changes the subject.
What are some other signs he's using you?
Image via Gnarls Monkey/Flickr
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Comments 8
He goes to family reunions and get-togethers and never invites you. He walks in the door and asks what's for dinner. He looks through your purse and drawers for cash. He asks you where you want to go for dinner or what movie you would like to see (which you magically end up paying for) and somehow you end up going to the restaurant or movie he wants to. He asks you to bring him things while he sits "busily" watching TV. He comes over after he's been out all night doing who knows what and wants some. He "borrows" your car all the time and never puts gas in it. He's not nice to your friends or family, but expects you to be nice to his. He always comes around at dinner time, since he knows you're a good cook. He wants some and won't stop asking, even when you tell him you're not feeling well, or just don't feel like it. He expects you to wait for him, but he will never wait for you. It's OK if he puts you down, but you can NEVER put him down. You're supposed to be horny, look beautiful, and be nice all the time. The other women he's known, such as his mother or ex wives or girlfriends never did anything for him.
Why would anyone put up with ANY of these things??
I was in the same condition then the 27 year old man left me for a 17 year old. I took all of my stuff and leaving him with pretty much nothing. he and the 17 yr old didn't even have pillows to sleep on for awhile.... no pots or pans, plates.... anything that actually mattered!!! when i got the last of my stuff it felt great taking the things and having my freedom while he was stuck with nothing!<3