Our nation is in a state of environmental crisis thanks to all you randy readers out there. The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey has led to our landfills being overwhelmed by used sex toys, and in some cases, said toys, still with half-working batteries, are buzzing out of the trash heaps, down the roads, and are making their way into our children's schools. When an army of smelly and used vibrators interrupts a second grade social studies lesson, it's time to take action. Introducing Kathy Griffin's Fifty Shades of Green.
The comedienne did a bit for Vh1's Do Something Awards in which she implores people to reuse, re-purpose, and recycle their old sex toys, and it's brilliant.
Kathy's right. Mother Earth needs a hug, not a spanking. Use your old lube motor oil, paddles can be the new tennis rackets, and yes, dildos can become your household hammer. Don't throw your toys away, think outside of the box and turn them into everyday items. Those nipple clamps would make excellent clothes pins, and those anal rings? Boom, fancy shower curtain rings that'll make your neighbors jealous.
Next time your put down your Fifty Shades book, pick up your toys and ask yourself if you could Fifty Shades of Green some of them. The children of the future depend on you -- vibrator armies threaten.
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Photo via Vh1.com
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