10 Ways to Stay Sane During Your Divorce

Love & Learn 6

Just under half of all women who throw on a white dress and march down the aisle to Canon in D, will later fall into "The Big D," as I've taken to calling it. I am, of course, referring to divorce. And I'm one of those who walked down the aisle with plans to stay with my husband forever.

It's a loss like any other, and you need time to grieve. But unfortunately, there's usually very little time between realizing you are heading toward divorce and actually getting one. Especially if there's been infidelity, any sort of abuse, or children involved. Divorce is one of those things you have to take as it comes and hope like crazy that things will, once again, be right some day.

Through it all, it's important to keep your head about you if you can. Here are some simple ways to stay sane during your divorce:

1) Find your support network and rely upon them to help you see the way when you yourself cannot. Divorce is completely overwhelming and can make even the most sane among us wonder if we've lost our ever-loving minds.

2) Get thee a therapist. Carve an hour out of your week to make certain that you are able to talk to someone who cares about your needs only.

3) Find a good friend you can trust and talk through your options with. While it's not the same as lawyering up, sometimes our friends are able to view this unfortunate situation in a better light.

4) Make a playlist of angry breakup songs. Don't bother with the ones you've been weeping to, find the ones that get your blood pumping.

5) Remember that no matter what you do, people will judge you. These people most certainly have never walked a mile in your shoes. Thicken your skin.

6) With the division of property comes the division of friends and family. Not everyone will take your side - doesn't matter if they're your blood or not. And yes, it will sting like hell, so prepare yourself.

7) Keep your support around you. Don't feel guilty for "wallowing" in your misery - you just experienced a major loss. You're allowed to grieve it.

8) Respect the emotional boundaries of those who are going through other stuffs. It's hard because you're a bundle of emotions, and so are they, which means that you're going to HAVE to meet somewhere in the middle.

9) If you don't want to talk about your divorce (because TRUST ME, it gets old retelling the same-old same-old), don't. Tell people you're not ready.

10) Accept that you will, one day, feel normal again. Better. Stronger. Faster. You're going to make it. And so am I!

Any other advice for people going through a divorce?

 

Image via sukhchander/Flickr

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AliNo... AliNoelle

Thanks for this.... I just told my stbxh that I want a divorce. Already a hot mess.

easun... easunshine

Divorce is so hard. It is truly a loss and pain like no other. This is good advice.

nonmember avatar Missforth

I think sometimes people underestimate just how hard it can be.

DebaLa DebaLa

I think it's important to focus on your needs and those of your children and what you want from the terms of the divorce, and not to worry about what your husband is saying or doing or his atty. It's meant to wear you down and distract. Focus on you and your needs with blinders on, adding one more new piece to your new life every day. That shakes 'em up.


Good luck, everybody! Or at least the 50% that went thru this, or certainly will in the future.

nonmember avatar John

Being 6 months post divorce, and in a happy place I have this to say about staying sane:

Nothing like the next person to get over the last one. Builds the ego, brings on the fun.

Get out of the house, keep busy.

Focus on the negatives from your ex you don't have to deal with anymore.

Enjoy the freedom, focus on all the things you can now do without guilt or judgment.

Larry Qualls

dime a dozen today, trade em in like cars, no souls left in this world, you are your own worst partner, and alwasy looking for the easy way out and want somebody elses instead of working for your own

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