These First Date Horror Stories Should Remind Us All What Not to Do

First dateI’ve only been on a handful of dates in my life. I’m not much of a meter-and-greeter. I’ve pretty much had boyfriends consecutively since my junior year of high school, with largely dateless breathing periods in between. But the few times I have ventured into that world have been humdingers.

Once, I met up with a guy I’d vaguely known in college and eventually developed a back-and-forth flirtation with on Facebook at a restaurant. The conversation flowed and he seemed fairly witty—until he felt comfortable enough to admit that he wasn’t mature enough to not stare at my cleavage all night. Sure, he was honest, but it made the rest of the evening fairly awkward as I tried to scoot down in my hardback chair low enough to allow the tablecloth to rest upon my marked chest (which, incidentally, wasn’t even out on display).

Another time, I doubled with one of my besties in one of those your-friend-bring-a-friend hook-ups that pits perfect strangers in the most random of situations and generally makes for funny stories but rarely successful romances. You know, those. We went to the buffet—which, as you can tell, is already a set-up for a first date fail because who goes to the buffet…and uses a coupon? (Not that I’m not all for the buffet or the buffet at a discount but it just felt a little cheesy as part of an introduction.)

So good was his buy one, get one bargain that his friend, who had rattled a series of uncouth offenses during the course of the evening anyway, took the little cardboard teepee advertising the senior citizen special on Mondays and Thursdays and used it to dislodge the food stuck in his teeth, then, then, y’all, he spit it on the floor. Later that night, he asked my friend if he could come upstairs and cuddle.

Do you see now why I just can’t with the dating scene?

As demonstrated by those Princes of Charm, there are plenty of ways to send a first date nosediving into the crash and burn. Some are a matter of personal preference and opinion—I’d immediately be turned off, for example, by a dude who didn’t hold doors open for me and at least offer to pay, even though I’m perfectly cool splitting the check—but some are more general and across-the-board.

Essence recently ran a story about a dozen first date mistakes that a man will judge a woman for, and naturally girls on the singles scene should avoid. See if you agree with them and, hey, while you’re at it, share some of your own disastrous first date stories or firsthand lessons. Let’s see who can come up with the worst of the worst, especially since it’s the weekend and some of them might be fresh and juicy.

What’s your first date horror story?

 

Image via Foxtongue/Flickr

dating, dating mom, hooking up, love, online dating, romance tip, turn-offs

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nonmember avatar Tonya

In my sophomore year of college I was asked out by a cute baseball player I'd been flirting with all semester. I was so excited that he had finally asked. We wanted to go somewhere where we could talk, so we opted for a Sonic drive-in. When we got there (at supper time) he said, "I'm not hungry, so I'm just getting a milkshake. What do you want?" I was appalled. And starving. And not about to wolf down a cheeseburger and onion rings as he slurped a milkshake. I knew at that second there would never be a second date, no matter how cute he was. So we got our milkshakes and talked. And talked and talked. For hours. Twenty years later, here we are. Hitting up the same Sonic every year on that day in April just for old times' sake. But now he can afford a whole meal. ;) Don't always give up on those less than ideal first dates.

nonmember avatar HS

I'd have to start my own blog to share all my failed date experiences. I've been single for 4 years now, ever since my ex found out I was pregnant with our son. But my experiences started way before that and I'm only 27. Apparently I attract crazies but am fortunate to not be so desparate to settle. Other times it's been me and my low tolerance for men. I don't have any advice though other than if it doesn't feel right or feels forced, just let it be.

nonmember avatar CrystalMP

My freshman year I was on the dance squad so I decided to take my new boyfriend with me to the out of town football game. He rode the bus with us there and as it happened the cheer leading team had to ride with us because their bus was out if order. The cheer leaders pitched a fit to the principal as soon as we got to the game because my boyfriend was from our rival school and they decided he shouldn't be allowed on the bus ( we had permission BTW). He ended up having to call the police station to get a ride home and I was not allowed to ride with him or I would have been expelled. Absolutely awful first date but hey that guy is my husband now lol

t0vanal t0vanal

Tonya I love your first date story!!  Thanks for sharing it!

jessi... jessicasmom1

:-) I was married for 12 years before my husband passed you think it is easy dating again ? LOL HECK NO ........

jkm89 jkm89

Buy one get one coupon at a buffet on a first date? Haaahahahahaha, I love it, that is hilarious.

gsdlover gsdlover

8 years ago, my landlady set me up with a guy that she worked with.  He was so annoying!  He kept pestering me, teasing me, taunting me.... it was like being in elementary school again.  I eventually got so mad at him that I actually kicked him.  We are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary next month and expecting our 4th child in November. lol

Riahs... Riahsmom1

Gsdlover,that's hilarious!

Christen Aubuchon

My brother introduced me to one of his friends, we did a group date thing, and I was just not that into him, he kept asking me if we could date and I said no, he asked why and I said because I am 17, I hate time to worry about dating people later in life, to which he replied, but we should date, you have great child bearing hips. WTF??? Again my brother introduced me to a friend and co-worker, went on a date, I think I fell head over heals for him that night, he brought me home and told me he was not attracted to my fat, again WTF is wrong with some guys? Apparently he must have liked me well enough 6 years and 3 kids later we are still going strong.

paige... paige8608

I met this guy & I'm so glad the 1st date never happened! He called me the day before we were supposed to go out and he told me that he had a coupon for 2 free dinners at a buffet. I actually laughed out loud! I could not believe that he thought I'd be up for this. He said that he was "conservative" with his money (i.e. CHEAP!) and he even told me the story of how he acquired the coupons after having to complain to the manager about the service he had on a previous visit. OMG. Needless to say I never went out with him....mostly because his "luxury car" broke down & couldn't afford to fix it. Ugh...I could just tell he was not worth dealing with. 

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