Love & Sex

Divorce -- it happens. Forty-five percent of us who walk down the aisle will wind up later splitting up. And when we do, we may find that our self-esteem -- our entire self-worth -- has been shaken. When I said "'til death do us part," I meant it. But in my life, it's far more important for my soon-to-be ex to be my friend, for us to both find happiness, than it is to stay rooted in one place.

But the end of a marriage doesn't have to mean the end of your sex appear. So that begs the question: how do you learn to feel sexy again after a divorce?

1) Change your hairstyle. Cut it, color it, highlight it, whatever you have to do. It SOUNDS cliche, but it really does help to find the new you -- which is something you'll be doing a lot of in the coming weeks and months.

2) Recommit to a workout routine. Sure, maybe you "planned sometime to get around to jogging again," but you lost track of time, got comfy, and let a few pounds pack on. Happens. But when you get a divorce, you need to feel as good about yourself as possible. And besides, exercising releases natural endorphins -- the body's feel-good hormones.

3) Spruce up your look. It's time to look the way YOU want to look, not the way you've felt you SHOULD look as a wife. Nothing like a fancy pair of shoes to change your attitude.

4) Ditch your old lingerie and buy some new sassy bras and undies. Yeah, it sounds trite, but wearing sexy stuff under your clothes really does make you feel sexier. This is the new you, remember?

5) Make it a point to go out with the girls ... and practice your flirting skills! They're probably dusty after years of non-use, but you have to start somewhere.

6) Make regular appointments to get your nails done. It's a little thing, really, but it can make you feel like you've accomplished something and make you feel prettier.

7) Try taking a belly dancing or striptease class with a couple of good friends. Nice to find some new moves, and even if you feel ridiculous while you're learning, you'll find someone to try them out on.

8) Forgive your ex. I know, I know, that sounds impossible -- especially if he was unfaithful. But allowing yourself to see what you've learned from this relationship can be more than empowering. And with power comes sexiness.

What else can bring your sexy back after a bad breakup or divorce?

Image via doom_sellers/Flickr