“Sex Confessions” is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.
Today's sex confession comes from Anna* (*not her real name), a 36-year-old married mom of one school-age kid. She says she has a happy marriage -- her husband is a great dad, he's amazing at saving money, he still compliments her after almost 10 years of marriage -- but he does insist on one thing that drives her crazy. He wants to have sex every day. He demands it. He says that if they don't do it, it would ruin their marriage. Read on to hear more of what Anna has to say.
This sex every day thing isn't new. My husband has been insisting on it since we got together. Back in the day we used to have sex every day anyway. Then we got comfortable with each other and there were days he wanted to have sex and I turned him down not for any other reason than I was just tired and not into it. He was fine with it the first time and we had sex the next day. But then a week or so later when I wasn't interested a second time, he got upset. We had this huge talk about how he doesn't want to be one of those married couples who never have sex. I tried to explain to him that having sex 6 out of 7 days a week is still probably more than most people we know, but he didn't want to hear it. He wanted us to have sex every day. He said it will keep us close and make sure our marriage stays strong.
I think the opposite is happening. I don't want to have sex EVERY SINGLE DAY. We have a child who is going into the second grade, and as any parent knows, kids take a lot out of you. There are days when we have a spare three minutes of time and that's the time he thinks we should have sex. I'm not really interested in having a quickie in the spare moment between me cleaning up a dirt pile my daughter tracked in and making dinner for the family. I feel like I always have to be "ready for it" and it's making me resent my husband.
He did give me a break after I had my daughter, but he was the one googling how soon after birth I could have sex again. I'm not kidding. It used to make me feel sexy -- like he loves and lusts after to me that much he needs to have me all the time, but now ... frankly ... it's just annoying. It's become a chore. It's making me not into having sex at all and I don't know how to resolve this.
What advice would you give this confessor? Is sex every day too much?
Image via Katie Tegtmeyer/Flickr
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Comments 35
I'd take this off the internet and into a qualified counselor's office. It sounds like there might be other issues involved other than "he's horny". Issues like sexual addiction, insecurity, trust and resentment. Some on each side.
You love each other now, you are good for (and to) each other now, and if this truly is the biggest issue in your marriage, get it fixed before it causes breaks that cannot be fixed.
I had an ex who wanted it every single time we saw each other. We only saw each other on the weekends, but still every.single.time.would end up with sex. It messed me up beause I then began to think that was all that was wanted of me.I did break it off with him. Perhaps he had a sex addiction.
My current hubbie and I had issues because I felt that he didnt want me when he DIDNT want me every time I saw him. I now realize that we dont have to do it constantly to be able to show affection. A simple hand hold or a hug works :)
I have a perfectly healthy sex life now, just don't do it every.single.day.
If its bothering you *Anna, then please get to counseling *god that doesn't look like its spelled correctly* it sounds like he only gets his validation from sex. Like if he doesn't get it, you don't love him.
It would be a shame for you to honestly resent a husband who is otherwise good to you.
I hope things work out.