Kristen Stewart's Cheating 'Emails' Make It All Clear

by Kiri Blakeley August 3, 2012 at 11:09 AM

Kristen Stewart

There's been so much speculation about the Kristen Stewart cheating scandal, and so many different and wild stories going around every day, that it's good to know we finally have a glimpse of the REAL story. For instance, did you know that Kristen sent Rob flowers after the scandal broke? And did you know that Charlize Theron lost her cool with Kristen for ruining their chances at a Snow White sequel? And that Justin Bieber tried to comfort KStew with the news that Rob cheated first -- with Katy Perry? Oh, to be Kristen Stewart's drama-filled Gmail inbox after Cheatgate!

Well, okay, maybe, just maybe the hacked contents of the inbox are fake. (For those of you who haven't had your coffee yet, this means they ARE fake.) But they're pretty funny nonetheless. And, heck, who knows, maybe a few of these fake emails are close to what is really in KStew's inbox. Here are some highlights:

From: Tom Cruise

Thank you for taking the limelight off me. BTW, we have a church meeting coming up. You should ...

From: Taylor Lautner

This ISN'T the movie! You have a chance to choose the right guy in real life. Just sayin'.

From: Charlize Theron

Sorry I snapped. Put in a good word with Rup during my salary negotiations and I'll change my media story ...

From: Nikki Reed

KARMA IS A BITCH!!! What goes around comes around ...

From: Taylor Swift

(unopened) Can I use this inspiration in a song? Such a story. Cast from 2 movies. Upcoming premiere. Costars ...

From: Robert Pattinson

(pre-cheating) Let's start with forever. With the bloody movie promo over we can start every single day of forever ...

No word yet on who came up with this gem. Maybe it was Team Rob? Anyway, it's pretty amusing (albeit in that sad, sad break-up kinda way). A few glaring omissions though: Nothing from Rupert Sanders, nothing from Liberty Ross, and although Bear the Dog has his own Gmail account, nothing from him either. Would love to know who Bear really wants to live with! And, seriously, nothing from RPattz? Not even a rambling, drunken 3 a.m. "How could you do this??!!" type missive?

And, damn, girl, empty your spam folder!

What do you think of "Kristen's Gmail inbox"? What would you liked to have seen?

Image via Getty

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kiri Blakeley

is a journalist, author, blogger, and all-around opinionista. Her book, Can't Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love, is available now.

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Comments 9

Nonmember comment from netty kinnz

August 3, 2012 at 11:59 AM

Omy, theu were hilarious! I think there should of been a email from kstews ex just to throw it off a bit. An maybe one from RWitherspoon. XD

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Taisie

August 3, 2012 at 1:22 PM

The obligatory penis enlargement spam ;)

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Facebook comment from Jasmine Kay Drain

August 3, 2012 at 4:39 PM

This was fake Check out this one bellakristencullen1@gmail.com this one

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Facebook comment from Katie Bonner

August 3, 2012 at 5:30 PM

Ya know I'm so tired of hearing about who cheated on who (or what) in Hollywood. Just because the tabloids say they cheated....doesn't mean I'm going to believe every word that the tabloids say. For example, all the tabloids and the press is SO SURE that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012 that they are now printing issues in my state of what to do if you're stuck here after the apocalypse. Does anyone here believe that nonsense? NO! So why should anyone believe that Kristin cheated on Rob just because the tabloids say so? When they start printing the truth about people with actual facts in it then I'll believe it. Kristin and Rob are both damn good actors and I'm not going to choose sides between them. This is real life. Not a cat fight in middle school.

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Facebook comment from Callista Micoff Bruinsma

August 3, 2012 at 5:46 PM

@Katie Bonner- She publically admitted to cheating with her director. She made a public apology... She really cheated, it's not just the "tabloids"... Why don't you read a little more about the story before you open your mouth!!!

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eyesablaze

August 3, 2012 at 5:50 PM

Lol, honestly, I'm sure Rob has cheated as well /:
It's idiotic that everyone is intruding in their personal life. Let them sort it out on their own.

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Facebook comment from Brittany Connelly

August 3, 2012 at 7:46 PM

My gosh. seriously. How bout everyone worry about their own lives. This is the problem. Everyone is sooo amused and feeds of the drama of others, that it causes even more caois. Let them be. They will work it out, if even possible, with all you bottom feed suckers. They are a great couple, and everyone makes mistakes, Rob if i remember cheated on her with that one blonde chic, and they worked it out. Its Hollywood. There are many temptations. Yes, your not supposed to act apoun them, but shit happens. Leave them alone already, so they actually have a chance to work this out. Yes, I would hate to see these two break up for good. They are indeed almost the PERFECT couple. I love them both, but two wrongs dont make a right. So to ROB and KIRSTEN, Stop listening to all these ppl, and tabloids, and do what you feel in your heart, is right. I believe you two can work this out. If you really loved eachother. Yea, its hard, yea it will take time, but how many more ppl do you honestly want to go through this with. You two are great on film, and off. I feel for you ROB, i do, and i feel for you too Kirsten, again, 2 wrongs dont make a right. I hope you two work it out. God bless ya both. Brittany Connelly from Roscoe, IL. <3

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EarlGrayHot

August 7, 2012 at 4:13 PM

I don't understand why anyone cares what this no-talent actress, famous for appallingly bad vampire movies, does or says. I certainly don't.

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Facebook comment from Vennie Bermudez

August 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM

After reading media stuff about Kristen and her former bf (Michael A), it is clear; Kristen is a player and a fake person. (Fake for being able to hide a scandalous incident - a very willing participant to the affair with Rupert Sanders while having a serious love relationship with Robert Pattinson - So sorry to say this to Kristen and to all the Twilight fans) R-Pattz stole her from Michael A during (and/or after) the filming of New Moon; and so history repeats itself - what comes around goes around and what goes around comes around; R-Pattz should be thankful, BIGTIME, to Mr. Sanders for having had exposed what seemed to be a trending pattern of bad behavior that she had managed to exercise. It appears she needed satisfaction to control or wants to have the power to manipulate men. Now, her integrity is tarnished at a young age. I would like to think of her as a smart person, instead of being impulsive learning life the hard way. K-Stew still needs to be schooled, needs loving support and understanding from her circle of GOOD friends and family, and a warranted support from the media to leave her alone for a while, must publish positive changes about her life. She may have to take a break to fathom reality especially in the field of where she works, where she is raised (Hollywood) and learn that what she chose as a career requires a giant responsibility.

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