The DateAccording to some exhaustive scientific research, four out of five scientists believe that men think about sex every seven seconds. Or is that dentists and gum? I can't keep it straight. Heck, I can barely type without thinking about boobs.

The boob tube. That's what I meant. Television today is clearly the culprit for all this over-stimulated, massively sexed-up society we live in. Maybe it all started with shows like T.J. Hooker. Hooker? Seriously? That's your last name? Even current modern sitcoms like Big Bang Theory join in on the action. Bang. Action. Where's a cold shower when you need one?

Anyway, on behalf of incredibly frustrated men everywhere (apparently if we don't have sex every seven seconds, we're frustrated), I just want to say one thing: It's not our faults! Men are just wired differently than women. It's in our hot, skinny, jeans genes to constantly be thinking about grabbing the woman we love, tossing her onto the bed, and ... sorry. Where was I?

Wiring. Right. I'm no electrician, but if two wires start giving off sparks, you just know it's going to lead to something hot. Hot and steamy. No, not like a Wendy's hamburger, but like a shower stall that you can only make out your wife's silhouette in as water droplets and soap slide down the frosted glass panes.

Sorry. Sorry. This just isn't working. How can I best get my point across about men constantly having sex on the brain? Maybe this video from College Humor will say it better.

Do you constantly think about sex?