Selena Gomez may only be 20, but she sure is grown up about marriage. The Disney star has revealed that she has no intention of marrying long-time boyfriend Justin Bieber any time in the near future. She says she wants to figure out her career first and wait to be older.
It's a very smart move for her.
The fact is, 20 is generally too young to get married. Sure, we all know the odd successful couple who married at 19 and made it through it all. But they are much fewer and farther between. Successful marriages usually happen after the age of 26 when a person has grown into a full adult and can make adult decisions like marriage.
The fact is, people today are staying "young" longer than ever. People often don't become "real grown-ups" until they are 30 and sometimes even older.
To me, the mark of an adult is someone who has accomplished something in their lives. If they are living independently, paying for things themselves, being responsible, and holding down a job, then they are a grown-up. But that doesn't take into consideration all the other things that come into play.
No one should marry before they "feel" like a grown-up. I married young for my region at 25, and it took a good five years for me to really understand what marriage was and how special it really was. I think about things I did at 26 and 27 and how capricious I was about our bond and I cringe.
It's not to say that younger people can't be more mature than I was. Certainly they can. My parents married when my mom was 20, and they had a long and happy marriage before my mother died. It is possible. But it isn't the "norm." On the whole, it's better to marry older because you have a better sense of what that commitment means.
Gomez's comments say to me that she is already well on the road to a happy marriage once she marries because of how seriously she is taking it. In the end, that is what we all hope for. If every person who married, young or old, took is seriously, there would be a lot less divorce.
Do you think Gomez's comments are smart?
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