I feel bad for women. On the one hand, we're constantly told -- by other women -- girl, men don't change! Don't let him treat you like that! Kick him to the curb! At the same time, we're told that people "give up on" marriage too easily. That relationships take work. That men can change! At least if you're Christian Grey, you change, right ladies? Oh, wait, he's fictional.
My point being, Bret Michaels separated from and broke off his engagement to his fiancee and mother of his two children, Kristi Gibson. Again! And Kobe Bryant is up to shenanigans with other women. Again! And yet women are damned if they do, damned if they don't. Give the guy the heave ho? She didn't try hard enough. She keeps trying? She's a doormat. One therapist, Bonnie Kaye, author of Man Readers: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men, says ladies need to stop trying to change a guy and move on. STAT!
Kristi Gibson and Bret Michaels have been together on and off for 18 years and have two children. She also stood by his side after two emergency brain surgeries and a brain hemorrage that almost killed him. They starred in a reality series, Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It. In the show, Michaels finally proposed to Kristi. And now he's changed his mind?! Look, I'm the first to say that couples do NOT need to be married to prove their love and commitment. But you don't take back a marriage proposal unless you found out your beloved did something -- coughKristenStewartcough -- awful.
And Kobe Bryant? Don't get me started. Okay, I'm started. We all know Kobe's history with the laaaadies. Right down to his sexual assault accusation in a hotel years ago. Kobe admitted to adultery, but not the other part. And it wasn't that long ago that his wife, Vanessa, filed for divorce supposedly because of his chronic cheating. Then she un-filed. And now Kobe was photographed sitting shirtless with a couple of women at a party. Because someone spilled a drink on his shirt. Because there was, apparently, no other shirt anywhere to found. There were no towels. There was nothing he could have covered his torso with. And he couldn't wipe off his shirt and wear it. And he couldn't leave the party. Are you buying this???
Some guys just do not change. They do not. Maybe Kobe isn't sleeping with anyone, but he's still doing shady stuff like this. Maybe Bret still loves his girlfriend, but he's still unwilling to marry her. If these ladies are holding on, hoping for change, I suggest they read Man Readers, because as Kaye writes: "You can't change them, but they can change you -- and not for the better."
Or maybe Kristi and Vanessa need to read Fifty Shades of Grey to find out how Anastasia Steele changed Christian Grey from a cruel, dysfunctional sex addict into a loving, committed, emotionally-available angel! Oh wait, that's fiction.
Do you think men change?