Love & Sex

Figuring out how to handle your new guy's family can range from 0 to impossible, ESPECIALLY if you guys are freshly together or he doesn't see his family a lot. Or the reverse - if he sees his family all the time. There's always that awkward bit: you know they're judging you, you're just hoping that it's in a good way.

But there are ways to win them over -- and ways to make them hate you. So in that vein, read on for things you should never, EVER say to his mom.

1) "Are you sure you need to be calling him every day?"

2) "Wow - I think Freud wrote about you and your son."

3) "How much butter did you ADD to this meal? I can feel my arteries hardening already!"

4) "Your son is AMAZING in bed. Wow."

5) "I know it's only been a few weeks, but I can already hear wedding bells in our future!"

6) "Is THAT the engagement ring you'll be giving him to give to me? Because I'm going to have to get that stone re-set."

7) "Are you really a member of the NRA? Yikes!"

8) "So, how big is (insert husband's name here) down there?"

9) "I cannot wait to stay at home and raise the babies while your son earns the money."

10) "So how much is (insert boyfriend's name here) worth once you're dead?"

11) "He loves me more than he loves you!"

12) "I don't believe women should have to work."

13) "I've been aching to be a trophy wife for SO LONG."

14) "Well, at least The Clap is treatable!"

15) "We both hate using condoms - they just don't feel very good!"

What other things should you never say to your guy's mother?

Image via 23am.com/Flickr