10 Filthy '50 Shades of Grey' Sex Lies We're Not Buying

Hot List 161

couple kissingLove it or hate it, you can't escape Fifty Shades of Grey this summer. The steamy trilogy has captivated readers young and old, female and male, Twi-hard and non-Twi-hard alike. Haters can gripe all they want that the books' writing makes their eyes bleed, but ultimately, E.L. James' tale isn't doing any harm! ... Or is it?

Unfortunately, the books are replete with an embarrassing number of fibs and straight-up falsehoods about sex, which are setting some women up for serious disappointment and terribly unrealistic beliefs about enjoying yourself the bedroom (or the Red Room of Pain, if that's where you prefer it). So, in order to set the record straight, here are the top lies about sex from Fifty Shades of Grey series ...

  1. The guy you love will be psychic about your wants and needs. Christian never asks Ana what she likes or what she wants. We're just spoon-fed this fairy tale that he's either so amaaazing a lover that he always gets it right or she obviously likes everything he does because she's so in love with him and love = perfect sex every time. So she never has to speak up on her either. Wrong. This lie is seriously dangerous, because many women already have a problem speaking up about what they want and need in the bedroom.
  2. When you meet The One, you'll always be in the mood. No matter what. So, Ana never gets a migraine? Or cramps? Or just wants to go to bed? Yeah, that's realistic!
  3. It's possible to have a G-spot/vaginal orgasm ... every time! Seriously. What the ... ? Is there any real woman out there whose orgasms remotely resemble Ana's?
  4. It's possible to climax on demand -- generally at the same exact time as your partner. Ludicrous.
  5. If you love a guy, you'll automatically take to the fetishes he's into. Ehhh. Not necessarily. Sometimes you just have to leave him to download niche porn.
  6. A taste for BDSM play is probably the result of being psychologically damaged. This is simply not the case.
  7. Women -- and men! -- can have sex like the Energizer Bunny. In E.L. James' world, Ana never gets sore or tapped out. And Christian can get it up minutes after completion. Rrrright.
  8. Women only get horny once they've fallen in love. We're supposed to believe sweet little naive and virginal Ana had never had a sexual thought in her life until she met and fell in lurve with Christian ... and now she's a rampant sex fiend who is totally in touch with her "inner goddess." B*tch, please. 
  9. A dominant would think he could convert a naive virgin into a submissive 1-2-3. In reality, experienced BDSM practitioners would not dream of terrifying a novice with some of the things Christian subjects Ana to early on in their relationship.
  10. You can change a man with sex -- and "real love." By shtupping him and showing him real love, Ana manages to transform Christian from deviant and cold sexual predator to adoring, monogamous hubby. This is also a troubling lesson, because all too often, a woman's excuse for refusing to leave an abusive relationship is that she believes she can "change" a supremely screwed-up guy.

What do you think is the biggest lie about sex in the Fifty Shades series?


sex, fifty shades of grey

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Karmi... KarmicChild

I will not even go into exactly what I think of this piece of...er...literature, but...


6 and 9 were the two things (aside from the writing itself) that I took the biggest issue with.  As for 7, I must disagree with you.  Some men (such as my own husband) do have an almost instant "recovery time", let's call it. :)

Water... Water_geM

the "but i can change him" is my biggest problem with the book.

Saphi... SaphiraJFire

haha wow never read the book but this was really funny! I hate books like that I would rather read horror or sci-fi.

Karmi... KarmicChild

That too, "Water_geM".  Why did he need to change?  While it was (apparently) supposed to be an erotic romance for fans of BDSM, it often felt like the author was actually condemning the lifestyle.  Just one more contradiction in that awful book.

nonmember avatar Missforth

I think I'll stick with my mystery fiction. Janet Evonovich writes some sexy characters who are also funny as hell.

Todd Vrancic

That it is literature?

nonmember avatar Sam

I am the only person alive that doesn't give a sh*t about this book.....

mumma... mummajenni

No, Sam. I'm with you.



I. Just. Don't. Get. The. Hype. It's like nobody has ever written or read about sex before...ever. Totally don't get it, don't care to read it.

MissM... MissMamaBear

I really liked the books. And I have to say, my hubby can get it up minutes after getting off. He's in his early twenties. Totally normal. So is Christian (ok, 27, but still he's not 45). Its just a book guys. No need to read between every freaking line. If you don't like it, don't read it.

suziejax suziejax

sam I am with you I won't be reading it lol

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