Love & Sex

I'll admit when I first saw that couples were practicing a kind of sex called Karezza that involves touching, penetration, and all the usual trappings of sex without orgasm, I was skeptical. After all, what is sex without the orgasm? Isn't that like a car without the gas? What's the point of that old hunk of metal if it can't go anywhere?

Still, after reading further, I may be a convert. The idea is this: sex has become too goal focused. When a person is focused only on the goal or the end of an act, they don't appreciate the act itself. They aren't in the moment.

We all know women who struggle to or can't get to climax through intercourse. This takes the pressure off both them and their spouses. Now they can just enjoy the ride (pun intended).

To be sure, it's a shockingly different kind of sex. I once knew a woman who said, "If no one is getting off, then it's a waste of time." I may have even agreed with her at one point (like, er, this morning). 

But I have an open mind when it comes to sex and I like the concept of trying new and fun ways of exploring intimacy. Goal oriented sex is kind of a male construct anyway. After all, they achieve orgasm on the whole faster and easier than women who often have many buttons to press and unique needs to their own personal end game.

Obviously not all women are alike and some will balk at this idea. There is no doubt that the orgasm is an important part of sex. But it isn't the be all, end all. Certainly going months without climax (like some in the article) is a bit nuts, but a week? A month? Why not? Why not try something new?

A lifetime is a long, long time (one hopes) and couples should look for new and improved ways to explore intimacy. If this seems counterintuitive, then so what? I am totally going to suggest this, and while I am sure my husband will be less than thrilled, maybe he will come around (someone needs to stop me with the puns). Seriously.

Would you try sex without climax?

Image via jayneandd/Flickr