“Sex Confessions” is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, and all will turn you on (well most). You might want to sit down for this.
Today's sex confession comes from Jim*, who has been married to Karen* for five years but a total of 10 years if you count how long they were dating. They have a happy marriage. Jim wants to stress that he is an extremely satisfied husband -- and that includes their sex life. He is totally in love with Karen, but there is something she doesn’t know about him. Back before they even knew each other, Jim had sex with a guy. He has no interest in men anymore. But he fears telling him wife. Read on to hear more of Jim’s confession.
There are two things I want to really make sure I get out. I love my wife. I don’t want to be with a man. I did experiment back in my early college days and had a heck of a lot of fun, and that includes me being with a man. I dated women then, too. With the guy though, it was just a one-time thing I did and I don’t regret it at all. I do regret not telling Karen. I have no excuse other than there just wasn’t the right time to tell her. It was never brought up. We aren’t the kind of couple who have shared every last detail of all previous sexual encounters or even know about all the people we dated. I don’t know how many people my wife had sex with before me, and she doesn’t know my past either. And I don’t care. All I know is that I’m in love with my wife, we are actually in the process of trying to have another baby, and I am very happy.
But since we had our first child a year and a half ago, we grew even closer. I’m sure most new parents can relate how kids really do test your love and commitment and for us, it made it all the more amazing. And that’s why I feel like me being with a man is something she should know. Something I should have told her about early on. But now, 10 years later, telling her feels like it was as if I was hiding it from her all these years. I want to tell her the right way. I don’t want her to feel I’ve hidden anything from her. I’m just worried that she will feel it was a secret I kept and it may upset her.
I keep going back and forth in my decision to tell her or not tell her.
What advice would you give this confessor?
*Names have been changed.
Image via erix!/Flickr
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Comments 47
Secrets do nothing but destroy a marriage. If you really love her you will be honest with her and however she reacts, well you'll just have to deal with it. My husband knows I've been with a woman, I know he was almost with another man. It doesn't matter now, but I'm glad we were honest with each other. It proves we can trust each other completely.
It's really scary to tell someone you love so much about that kind of a thing. I think it's best you tell her and let the chips fall but its terrifing wondering how she will feel. is she anti gay? what has made you feel so strongly to tell her now? i would feel like it would change my whole perspective of her if she wasnt accepting of something you did prior to her. whether or not you are bi gay or were just fired up 10yrs should count for something but be prepared if things take a bad turn.
dont tell her, youre right in thinking it may upset her and she may even start to question whether or not it truely was "experimental" or if theres something you arent telling her, that youre not even willing to admit to yourself. if it were me, id be one disgusted and betrayed wife, but if you wouldve told me when we were first dating, i may not have made it to marriage and kids with you. so if it truly is as you say, that it was experimental and youre not bisexual, then you did the right thing in not telling her cuz alot of women wouldve showed you the door. but i dont agree with the commenter who said that no man willingly has sex with another man unless theyre gay, ive known guys whove done this, though theyd never in a million years admit it to anyone but maybe a girlfriend or on a chat site like this one. because theyd be called gay. why is it ok for women to experiment with women but not okay for men?! it does gross me out yes but i dont get the whole difference thing.
dont tell her, youre right in thinking it may upset her and she may even start to question whether or not it truely was "experimental" or if theres something you arent telling her, that youre not even willing to admit to yourself. if it were me, id be one disgusted and betrayed wife, but if you wouldve told me when we were first dating, i may not have made it to marriage and kids with you. so if it truly is as you say, that it was experimental and youre not bisexual, then you did the right thing in not telling her cuz alot of women wouldve showed you the door. but i dont agree with the commenter who said that no man willingly has sex with another man unless theyre gay, ive known guys whove done this, though theyd never in a million years admit it to anyone but maybe a girlfriend or on a chat site like this one. because theyd be called gay. why is it ok for women to experiment with women but not okay for men?! it does gross me out yes but i dont get the whole difference thing.
oh don't tell her she will be heartbroken and never trust again