Some people just watch movies. And some people take them to heart and use them to compare and measure their own love affairs.
R. Kelly would apparently fall into the latter category. Who would expect Mr. Sex-so-hot-I-have-to-pull-you-from-the-ceiling to be reduced to tears because his marriage lacked the passion and romance from The Notebook? Yes, The Notebook, as in the sappy love flick with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams that either TBS or ABC Family is probably running as I type. Somehow, it reminded Kels how badly his 12-year union with his former backup dancer and now ex-wife Andrea had fizzled:
"As the film credits started to roll, I couldn't move. I burst into tears. People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. 'The Notebook' was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine had died together.
"But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine's Day—when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses—that had come and gone ... My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back."
It’s a really, really good movie but pardon me for being nitpicky: they didn’t die. Right? Am I the crazy one? I mean, I just hate to think of big ol’ cornbread-and-hamhock eatin’ R. Kelly over there crying in the movies over a storyline that he didn’t get quite right. Maybe it’s not the dying part that hurt him so much as the hard lovin’ Allie and Noah did their whole lives. But I really don’t blame him.
I tell you, that movie will put you in a Kleenex-soaking frenzy if things aren’t going quite right in your love affair. It sets a mighty high bar. A mighty high bar indeed. I don’t know about sobbing into my box of popcorn kernels over it (because you know full well by the end of the movie, I leaves no leftovers), but I can see it hitting a nerve if you’re already in a fragile place emotionally. It should probably come with a warning on the box that says as much.
This revelation is just one of many—and probably the less bombastic—from Kelly’s forthcoming memoir, Soulacoaster. (If that title was a person, I would kick it in the shins, put it in a headlock, and call its mama a really mean name. I hate it. But hey, not my book, not my problem.) But since sharing this snippet, the former Mrs. Kelly has come out to rebut his claim that The Notebook had anything to do with the ending of their marriage, since the movie came out in 2004 and they hung in there as a couple until 2009.
Either way, she’s moved on and all scheduled to be on “Hollywood Exes,” what promises to be yet another reality TV gem. So I’m sure revelations about touchy feely movies will be low on the next-day gossip totem pole. I mean, he is R. Kelly. Guess we’ll find out what’s trapped in his closet.
What makes a bad relationship even worse?
Image via R. Kelly