“Sex Confessions” is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, and all will turn you on (well most). You might want to sit down for this.
Today's sex confession comes from a 32-year-old mother of one who has been married to her high school sweetheart for 10 years. But two years ago, she messed up. While she admits that it all started with a little flirting with a guy at a bar after having one too many drinks while out with her girl friends one night, she has taken it too far. As far as it could go. She's been cheating on her husband for a year with the one man. The man knows she's married. Her husband, however, didn't know about the other guy. Until a month ago. Here is what she revealed ....
I'm not proud of myself. It all started because I drank too much, which I rarely ever do. But I saw this guy, felt something, and went up and started talking to him. We kissed at the bar. It was sloppy, stupid, careless, and totally wrong. I promised myself I would never do that again. I'd never cheat on John* again. I love him. I love our life. I love our marriage. I would never want to jeopardize what we have especially because of our daughter. But I did. I saw the guy again. And again. And it's been a year. My relationship with James* isn't anything like my marriage. It is mostly sexual. John and I don't have sex very often. James fulfills that missing part. James knows all about my marriage and I finally came clean and told my husband.
More from The Stir: Woman Makes Out with Married Man in Bar & Then Tells the Wife
At first it seemed he was unwilling to forgive me. But he has. It's been a month since I told him and we've been working through it together. I didn't have to tell him. He had no idea what I had been doing. I wish I could erase the past year. But I can't. And that's the problem. I don't know how to break it off with James. I haven't seen him in a month. I keep putting him off. I haven't told him that my husband knows. I wish I just could never return his calls and never speak to him again. Though I know it's not that easy. I will run into him somewhere. And to be honest, I'm scared to talk to him because I don't completely trust myself to end it.
I need advice.
What advice would you give to this confessor?
*Names have been changed.
Image via Macnolete/Flickr
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Comments 87
James doesn't need an explanation. He knew you were married. If you can't trust yourself, staying away from him is the best option.
Get counseling. Not just marriage counseling, but the whole shebang. You need to find out why you did what you did and get the help you need. You weren't drunk the entire year you were cheating.
First of all, I wanted to say that you did the right thing in telling the truth. I'm so tired of hearing/reading people saying "It's selfish to confess to cheating, it'll just hurt your significant other" -- that's a bullshit copout. I've been cheated on multiple times by different partners, and although it hurt every time it ALWAYS hurt when I had to find out on my own, and the partner didn't have the guts to tell me himself. As far as dealing with the man on the side, my suggestion is to be as brief (and if necessary, brutal) as possible, and to NOT do it in person. You said your relationship has been mostly sexual, and he knows that you're married, so I'd send him a short email/text/phone call/whatever and tell him that you're done, and you're working on your marriage. IGNORE EVERYTHING HE SAYS AFTER THAT. That's the most important part. Good luck in your marriage.
Telling him was selfish. You could have just ended it. You hurt him to make yourself feel better about what you did. You're a selfish bitch who doesnt deserve his forgiveness.
if she doesn't trust herself to end it, she has no right dragging her husband along. women really piss me off sometimes, if this were a man that cheated on his wife for a year straight, he would be considered another tiger woods or something. men who cheat are always pigs, always evil, always in the wrong. and yet women have reasons for cheating, they want sympathy, they want understanding, they want forgiveness. it's disgusting. i have some advice for the HUSBAND. go out and find someone who will appreciate you. bring her home, and screw her on your bed so your wife walks in and sees it. b*tch deserves a taste of her own medicine.