Picking a Time of Day for Sex Is More Complicated Than It Looks

LOL 14

couple in bedSome people are just morning people. They can get up at the crack of dawn, jog five miles, shower, get dressed, cook breakfast for the whole family, and read the newspaper before I'm even awake.

Me, on the other hand, I'm a night owl. I've always been one for as long as I can remember. Come 10 or 11 p.m. each night, I find myself working at my computer, and before I know it, it's 1:30 or 2 in the morning. Clearly this can cause some coordination issues with my marriage. Yes, I'm talking sex here, people.

If I go to bed late, my wife's already exhausted. She's definitely not in the mood. Or depending on the day, she may already be passed out by the time I get back into the bedroom. And for some reason she doesn't appreciate it when I pleasantly wake her up.

On the flip side, my wife's a morning person, so she's raring to go when the sun comes up. I'm either snoring away or so tired I can barely grunt a hello in her direction. Not many guys will say no to sex no matter what day, time, or place you're at. But going to bed super late and being woken up early for a few horizontal mambo lessons is downright exhausting. Heck, a week or two of it is enough to kill a man!

Plus with morning sex, there's the whole morning breath issue. You don't want to get up and brush your teeth because you're so exhausted to begin with. That's half the fun of morning sex, just waking up, rolling over, getting busy, and passing out again. But unfortunately, nobody in the entire universe wakes up with good breath. Which means kissing pretty much sits on the sidelines for this morning routine.

So what's a couple to do? Well, we could compromise and just meet for a lunch quickie regularly. We can set our alarms for 4 a.m. so we'd both be exhausted. I could start going to bed earlier or she could start going to bed later. The problem is, I'd start off going to bed earlier but after a few days, I'd just slip right back into my old late night routine.

We could pick a day and time to be together, but scheduling romantic encounters just seems so ... clinical. Kind of takes the fun out of it. What we have to do is get the kids to bed way earlier and then get ourselves in the mood with a good movie, music, atmosphere, etc. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

Actually, what we really need is sexsitters. Someone to watch our kids outside of our house while the two of us go at it. Except that means we'd basically be paying to have sex. And last time we looked, that's against the law.

Do you prefer sex in the morning or at night?


Image via Jerine Lay/Flickr

sex, sex drive