Can I just say? Ewwww! The Bachelorette Emily Maynard's suitor Ryan hasn't exactly been a shining example of enlightened manhood in the past, and now he's gone and stuck his foot in it again. In a one-on-one with the single mom, Ryan tries his darndest to come across as charming, but Emily's reaction says she just thinks he's creepy. For one, he tells her that he wants a "good woman" in his life, so he has become a "great man." Fair enough -- cute thing to say. But you get the feeling what he really means by "good woman" is "little woman" -- you know, the one who is barefoot, cooking in the kitchen, and fetches her man a martini as soon as he comes home?
Ryan reveals his chauvinistic side some more, telling Emily that she'd make a good "trophy wife." What?! She almost gags and says, "There's that word again." Again?! He used the word "trophy" before?!
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He backtracks, saying, "Every man should believe his wife is a trophy." Uh, no, they shouldn't. Every man should believe his wife is a human being. A trophy is something you stick on your shelf. It doesn't move or speak. And Emily knows this, because she counters, "Trophies don't talk back." Exactly, girl. He doesn't want a living, breathing woman who might have an opinion or two -- and who might, gasp!, actually disagree with him occasionally.
What Emily doesn't know is that Ryan has admitted he is only on the show to become "rich and famous." He's becoming famous all right -- for being a douche. I don't think riches will follow.
Luckily, Emily's expression says that Ry is not going to be around much longer. Here are 5 signs that a man wants a trophy wife, not a human wife:
Your style, not his. The guy buys you clothes, shoes, jewelry. But it's not your taste or style. Like maybe buying you size 2 skinny jeans when you're a size 14 and prefer dresses. It's all about what he wants you to look like, not what you actually like. If you explain to him several times that you don't wear skinny jeans, or don't like stiletto heels, and keeps buying them for you anyway, he is either very obtuse, or he is dating a trophy version of you.
You are you. Does he always seem like he wants some other idea of you, not the real you? Does he say you're too loud, too talkative, too opinionated, too social? Then he probably wants some quiet trophy he can stick on a shelf.
Feelings. Does he tell you how to feel instead of acknowledging how you say you feel? If you're angry, does he pooh-pooh it and say things like, "Oh, isn't it cute how you get mad"? If you're crying, does he say, "You just want attention"? Then he wants a Barbie doll, not a person with real and sometimes messy feelings.
Opinions. If any time you disagree with him, does he say you don't know what you're talking about? That you're stupid or have no taste? You should be able to say, "I don't like Paris" or "I hated that movie" without your opinions being belittled. A strong man loves an opinionated lady.
Passions. You want to work; he wants you to stay home. You want to sing or write or dance. He tells you you're not any good. This is a guy who wants his idea of who you are, not who you are. You should always get support in following your passions.
Have you ever dated a guy who saw you as only a trophy?
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