Say what you want about EL James' Fifty Shades of Grey, the books are selling like hot cakes and have rekindled the romance and heat for more than a few couples across the United States and beyond. Even if the writing is not all that great and some of it is downright cheesy, the chemistry between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey is just plain hot. It makes us hot, too.
Of course, it isn't just the two main characters whose steaming love heats up the pages. It's also their toys. And they employ many. For many married couples, the idea of whipping one another isn't exactly a sexy one, and the fact is, that kind of sex isn't for everyone anyway.
Still, a challenge was clearly in order, so in honor of the book that has sparked a million libidos, I agreed to try some of the toys mentioned in the books. Here are the results:
The testers: My husband of a decade and I were game to try to spice things up. Editorial note: This wasn't anything we have ever delved into before. Our closest "S&M" moment was early in our marriage when he pulled my hair and I cried. Yeah. You can imagine how that went over.
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The materials: Babeland and Pure Romance were good enough to provide all the toys for this little experiment.
- Nipple clamps: In the book, Christian uses nipple clamps on Anastasia. I have never had any interest in trying nipple clamps before, but Babeland had a particularly lovely pair that doubles as a necklace. The word on nipple clamps is that they hurt more coming off than going on and that seemed like the truth to me. Personally they did nothing for me and they did even less for the hubs. I believe "get these OFF of me" may have been uttered at least once. But they do make a lovely necklace and if it works for you, I can see how they would be hot.
- Ben Wa Balls: One of the major players in Christian's sex toy closet is his Ben Wa balls. These are essentially balls that are inserted into the vagina in order to exercise the Kegel muscles and thus create stronger orgasms. Babeland sent me this set and we DID have fun with them. One night I wore them to dinner on a date night. Another time I just used them for a little personal workout and there is no doubt we had better sex both times immediately after. It's no wonder these are selling like hot cakes. They do improve the muscles.
- Blindfold: This was by far the winner of our experiment. I used it on him a few times and he used it on me a few times. Even though I was scared, holding my arms out and screaming, it did add some excitement. I never knew where in the bedroom he was or what toy he would use next and that added so much more for me in terms of pure sensation. Even more, it forced me to be in the moment. Sometimes during sex I can drift a bit and the blindfold stopped that. My husband also loved it. This is a keeper for sure.
- Whip: Personally, I am not into pain with sex. It has never turned me on to be spanked or hit or whipped or in any other way hit during intercourse. But I will say I could be on the other end of the whip happily. We had three toys to choose from. I was partial to a softer tickler/whip for my own turn. It was a nice combination of sexy and sensational (especially with the blindfold) without being painful. But when I was wielding the whip, it was beyond hot to use this lollipop crop, which makes awesome red circles, or this whip, which is just plain hot. I can't say either of us went the full Christian Grey as pain isn't something that either of us likes. But I will say it was fun to play around with it and definitely added some kink, new sensation, and laughter to our bedroom fun.
- Restraints: There are many different options for couples to try here. There are vanilla bondage kits that feel a little easier to manage, but for the more adventurous couple, there is this under the bed restraint system from Babeland. We got to use this and it was a lot of fun. It was my husband who figured it all out. There was no way I could have. I never tried it on him. But for me, it was great. I am a control freak and use my arms a lot to control the action even unconsciously, so this pulled me out of my role and put me in a new one. It was hot indeed. I was kind of forced to experience sex in new way.
- Spanking: This one gets major play in the book, and even though we had lightly played around with it, this was one of the first times we really did. Thanks to edible spanking powder, it was even more fun to do our little spank-fest. I will say I think he liked it more than I did (both swatting and being hit), but it will definitely make another appearance in our bedroom in future weeks.
All in all, it was a hot couple weeks of experimentation, and even though it wasn't all fun the first time we used it, it WAS a lot of fun overall. If you found yourself hot and bothered by some of the scenes in Fifty Shades and you wonder why, this is not a bad thing to try.
Even if you don't like them all, the experimenting is fun and, who knows, you may even find yourself liking things you never imagined.
Would you ever try any of these?
Image via Babeland