Love & Learn
Sex Confession: I Fantasize About My Husband's Friend
“Sex Confessions” is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, and all will turn you on (well most). You might want to sit down for this.
Today's sex confession comes from a 25-year-old mom of one, who has been married for three years. She has been trying to keep her husband's friend off her mind, but she can't. And now he's been showing up in her fantasies -- her sexual fantasies. Here's what she has to say ....
Jake* has been my husband's friend since they were in high school. And on the night I met my husband Ryan*, I also met Jake. I was actually interested in Jake, but Ryan was interested in me. We exchanged numbers and eventually started dating. I couldn't help but still be excited when Jake would come around. I was falling in love with Ryan, but there was something about Jake that drew me to him. In my head, I felt like we had a secret chemistry -- I feel like he knows how I feel about him and maybe there is a part of him that wants to be with me. He's not married.
There is a small part of me that worries I got married too young. But I have my son, who is my world. I love my husband, but I think about Jake more than I should. I fantasize about him during the day; I wonder what he is doing, if he thinks about me. I have even pretended Ryan was him when we were having sex. I feel tremendously guilty about this.
When I am around Jake, when he's over our house, if there ever is a moment when he touches me -- like when he kisses my cheek hello or if he touches my back asking if he could help with the dishes -- I feel that chemistry. Maybe it's just one-sided because Jake has never acted upon it or hinted anything, but it's starting to get to me. I wonder if I should explore my feelings for Jake or maybe that is completely foolish. I know I need to re-examine my feelings for Ryan. Something needs to change; I can't go on with these feelings getting stronger.
What do you think this confessor should do? Do you ever have fantasies about your husband's friends? Is it more innocent or as complicated as this confessor's?
*Names have been changed.
Image via Kevin N. Murphy/Flickr
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the4mutts
My bf & I broke up, and I started dating his friend. I actually asked him after a few months if it'd be okay if I asked his friend out. *The friend had nothing to do with our breakup, btw*
He told me to go ahead, as he had started seeing someone as well.
The friend & I had a year of awesome "chemistry". In the end, my bf and I got back together. Love, protection, stability, comfort, and friendship won out over chemistry.
IMO she should just ignore the guy. Maybe leave sometimes if she knows he'll be there. Distance herself.
"Never leave the one you love, for the one you like. One day, the one you like, will leave you for the one they love"
Lilac
Mary Renner
Forget about Jake & put those feelings into your marriage.
Kaela Wheeler
Do your best to squelch those feelings. Your life is not a movie and going down the Jake path will not end well for anyone, particularly your son. Long term, those chemistry/crush feelings aren't going to last (even if a couple years seems like a long time, it's not compared to the lifetime you could screw up with your husband and son). Do your best to focus on the wonderful thing you have going with your husband.
BTW, while obsessively thinking about your husband's best friend is not appropriate, it is totally normal to think about other sexy men (hello, Ryan Renolds...mmm). Try not to dwell on it, but don't beat yourself up too badly!
sweetymoon
06katc08