8 Annoying Things That Will Stop You From Having Sex Tonight

OMG 9

no sexRemember when you were young and in lust? You know, the good old days where you'd sneak around behind your parents' backs to go meet up with your hot date and set off some real fireworks? Part of you was even thinking that you couldn't wait to get married one day so you wouldn't have to sneak anymore and could just get busy whenever you want.

Guess what? Nothing changes. When you're married, there are still a zillion things that can keep you from bumping uglies, even in your own house! We don't have room to list all zillion (too much bandwidth) but here's a look at the 8 biggest obstacles to parents having sex:

You're exhausted - There was a time when nothing would stop you from having sex, no matter how sleep-deprived you were. The early years of raising kids can certainly put an end to that.

Going solo - Nothing like meeting up with your honey ready to rock his world, only to find out that he already rocked it himself 10 minutes ago and is now done for the night.

Your Mom - Pictures can certainly make a house homey. But keeping a photo of dear old Mom (or even Dad) in the bedroom is a major buzzkill.

Your kids - Yes, they're sweet, adorable, and the loves of your life. But why on Earth can't they fall asleep when they're supposed to so they don't end up walking in on Mommy and Daddy while they're nude wrestling? By the time they've finally passed out, so has my wife.

Dead dogs - No, I'm not talking about your pet or some awful roadkill. I'm talking about movies, particularly dramas. The kind where you fall in love with this adorable puppy and something horrible happens to it in the movie but the kid who owned the dog learns a valuable lesson just before the dog dies. Yeah, that kind of movie. No way you're getting any action after watching a film like that.

Your kids again - This time it's your wife thinking about the kids that slams the brakes on your rocket-fueled love session. Maybe it's Billy's science test tomorrow. Or Cindy's swim meet. Or Ava's broken arm. See, even when they're not in the room, they're ruining your sex life.

Legos - You try to get in the mood again after stepping barefoot on those sharp little bastards.

Super-sized food - They tell you to wait 20 minutes after eating before you dive into the pool. Same goes for sex. Double the time if you had Mexican for dinner.

What keeps you from getting some?


Image via djwings sia/Flickr

sex, turn-offs

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MomaL... MomaLlama

Legos, haha.  They'll get you everytime.

nonmember avatar MrsWinkle

Hilarious!

Homeb... HomebirthFTW

Lol 'going solo' issue has so happened in this house followed with a sheepish explanation and grin

Mamaceda Mamaceda

Lmao "bumping uglies"

Lilyn... LilynAustin

LOL at the lego's.  SO true!  I think what gets us every time is just sheer exhaustion!  It is tiring being pregnant and being home with three young children.  At least my husband knows this is only temporary, and once the oldest two go to school, and the baby is born (and a little older) our sex life will come back!  OMG...PLEASE let it come back!  lol!

Bunny Lee Wilson

Yeah none of these things would stop us. Our kids know, awake or not, you NEVER come into our bedroom without knocking and being told to enter and also once we go to bed, you do not come to our door unless its an emergency. And the rest of it? So what? We can work with it.


 

Monique Davis

Nothing stops me, surely not anything on this silly list :p

Monique Davis

I have 4 kids. ever heard of a door lock?

nonmember avatar John

How about wifey just not liking sex and will contrive any excuse to get out of it?

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