If Your Man Meets This Description, He's Probably Cheating on You

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man cheating on wife looking at phoneApparently, if your husband works in IT or Engineering, he's more likely to cheat than a guy who has a gig in the financial industry. But that guy's definitely doggin' around more than a man who has a job in education! At least, that's what AshleyMadison.com (the site devoted to helping cheaters "prosper" with one another) asserts in a new survey meant to give a snapshot of what kind of man is most likely to stray from his marriage.

They polled over 11,000 fathers on the site and found the typical cheating hubby is likely in his 40s, has been married for over 10 years, and has two children over 10 years old. Stomach churning yet? But wait! We women aren't off the hook. In May, the site found that the average straying wife is in her 30s, married for five years or less and had a daughter under three years old. She's also most likely a teacher ... or a SAHM. Okay, now you can be sufficiently heartbroken. Or not.

Granted, I don't doubt that these are real numbers the site culled from their members and that the finding do say something about the averages of people who are using the site to at least browse around at other dissatisfied married people. But at the same time, it feels silly and wrong to stereotype and to say, "Oh, your husband works in IT? His life must look like an episode of Mad Men!" or "Hmm ... a woman in her 30s, married for four years who also teaches? Definitely going to go all Diane Lane in Unfaithful soon!"

More from The Stir: Cheaters Deserve a Second Chance

What I would guess is closer to the truth is that unfortunately, anyone -- no matter your age, number of years married, number of kids and their ages and especially no matter your profession -- could become dissatisfied in their marriage and opt for infidelity. And yeah, that's an even harder pill to swallow than the idea that we can whittle it all down and say, "Oh yes, a person with this job at this age are more likely to stray." It means we're all susceptible.

Still, I'd like to think we're all also capable of doing the work and choosing not to quit on our spouses. No matter what kind of demands our careers and our lives present us.

Do you buy these findings or do you agree that anyone could find themselves flirting with or engaging in infidelity?

cheating, lying, marriage


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navyw... navywife0204

I've had people try to tell me that my husband was cheating on me everytime he was deployed.  Naturally, these were people on this site a few years back who were plainly so unhappy in their own lives, they felt the need to put that misery on others.  FYI, he doesn't cheat.  we talk about EVERYTHING, and *gasp* I actually TRUST him.

ajb246 ajb246

ive had ppl (aka my M-i-l) tell my husband that bc my house isnt SPOTLESS that i MUST be having a lesbian affiar cuz what else do i do all day...oh yea take care of a now 5yr old. duh

work4... work4mickey

people who cheat are not necessarily dissatisfied. Otherwise it would make more sense to exit the relationship entirely. (I'm not advocating cheating, I do think it is wrong) People who cheat might want a shiny new toy (as well) or be turned on by the wrongness it. After awhile mariage becomes predictable, and lacks suprises (at least sexually). People who cheat tend to want it both ways, the stability and comfort of a long term relationship, and the excitement of a new romance/fling. People who cheat don't think they will get caught and don't think about the fact the are risking the ltr for the fling.

the4m... the4mutts

I have been on ashley maddison when I clicked on something online, and that popped up. I browsed thru out of morbid cutiosity.

it certainly seemed like most of the men played up their profiles to make themselves sound more appealing. Some of the descriptions seemed very unrealistic. Just like when they said "huge c*ck" and showed a picture that looked like the penis of a prepubescent boy.

I doubt that the sites study was very accurate.

I had a dating profile once when I was single. *on a much cleaner site* and I streached the truth on it. Most people do, I think.

Jamie Young

Ironically my ex husband is in IT and cheated....

MsRkg MsRkg

My husband is in IT and, in the 10 years we have been together he has never cheated on me, and I'm pretty damn positive that he never will.  I don't think a career determines if a person is more likely to cheat or not. A person will cheat when they are (a) bored with their partner . (b) unhappy with their life (c) needs something new in their life or (d) they just plain want to cheat cause that is there MO.

nonmember avatar Joshua

Men in IT know their way around a computer and are more likely to be more aware of online services. They surveyed only the men on the site, not a random sampling of the general population.

RanaA... RanaAurora

"Still, I'd like to think we're all also capable of doing the work and choosing not to quit on our spouses. "
Eh. Some people DO the work and realize it's still worth "quitting" (or "moving on"), especially if their spouse doesn't do any of the work themselves.

Anyway, I find it interesting that the women are more likely to cheat at a younger age and still newer to the marriage as well. I wouldn't have suspected that. 

nonmember avatar Tahah

Hahaha well I'm glad my hubby is out of IT. Got laid off in '08 and hasn't gone back to that career.

mommy... mommy2annaliese

LOL ASHLEYMADISON IS A SCUM BAG SITE FOR CHEATERS, So of course if you poll 11,000 cheaters, they are all going to be, well, cheaters. But there is WAAAY more men in this world that don't cheat. If someone cheats on you, leave, you can find better. And stay away from nasty sites like ashleymadison. Yuck!

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