My wedding dayNext month I’ll celebrate my tenth wedding anniversary. I’m 29. Yup, I was a teenage bride, and before you ask, no, I was not knocked up. It’s a cultural anomaly to get married so young these days, forgoing the wild ‘discover yourself at the end of a beer bong while wearing a wet T-shirt to show off your still perky breasts’ years, but it’s a decision I’ve never regretted.
More from The Stir: Why You Shouldn't Marry Someone You've Known Less Than a Year
There’s an article out in the Huffington Post by Jennifer Nagy highlighting her failed marriage and the failed marriages of her friends as the basis for raising the legal age for entering matrimony to 25. She writes:
People under the age of 25 are still discovering themselves; they are figuring out what is most important in their lives. They are discovering the joys (and heartache) of being in a relationship, and then the partying that often characterizes life between relationships.
24-year-old Steven Crowder (who’s marrying his lovely-on-the-inside-and-out fiancée in August, by the way) hit the nail on the head with his response to Nagy’s narcissistic ramblings:
Let me see. Today I am somebody who seeks to be the best believer, husband, father, businessman and man of integrity that I can be. Looking back, when I was fourteen, I aspired to… be the best believer, husband, father, businessman and man of integrity that I can be.
What is this obsession with discovering yourself and finding out what is important in life? Where are the core values of integrity, honesty, responsibility, and kindness? Ms. Nagy thinks it’s impossible to know at 21 what you’ll want when you’re 29, and in part, she’s right. When I was 21, I didn’t know how many kids I’d eventually want, where I’d be living, or exactly what I’d be doing professionally. But those are all peripheral circumstances, not who I am.
Probability of divorce has less to do with what age a person gets married than their reasons for getting married in the first place. Ms. Nagy says that she got married after dating her boyfriend for five years because it was just the thing to do. When the excitement of the wedding was over, she and her new husband had no idea where to go from there.
Getting married because it’s the thing to do is not a good reason to tie the knot. A wedding is a day; a marriage should be a lifetime. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 85, understanding that marriage is ultimately about sharing your life with another person through all the highs and the lows is a much better place to start than because your relationship has reached a plateau and it seems like the next logical step.
Ms. Nagy doubts that people that get married young can make it long-term because puppy love doesn’t last forever. Of course it doesn’t. Over the years the butterflies melt into something different, something better, something more. When I think back to my wedding day almost ten years ago, I realize I barely knew my husband. But I knew what marriage was, and he and I made a commitment to love, honor, and cherish one another until death parts us.
I have grown up this past decade. I’ve done it with my best friend and life partner right by my side. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, let alone for a decade of self-discovery through partying.
Ashley Is a Widow Who Stays Strong...
This Hot Dad Wants to Vacuum Your Rug
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
Comments 156
congratulations on your anniversary!!!! i love hearing stories about a marriage lasting instead of ending in divorce. but for whatever reason, people who get married before 25 do have a higher divorce rate. so i don't think it's a bad thing to advise people to wait until they're a bit older. but for those who can make it work when they got married young, more power to you. seriously, i'm SO happy to hear about a couple who's staying married. a ten year anniversary is something to celebrate no matter what, but for someone who married so young, it's DEFINITELY something to celebrate in my opinion. so happy anniversary, i hope you two have an awesome one. here's to the next 10 years!!!!!
I know the statistics but in my experience it's the couples that marry later in life that have greater problems. You marry at twenty, you grow together. You marry at thirty, you have your life and your ways. It's the same thing as having children later in life. The women I know who have married late make lousy wives because they are all about their own stuff and the ones who have kids later in life are rarely willing to sacrifice the life they had before to be there for their kids. Being a wife and mother is an integral part of who I am, not something that I tacked on after my life was already half over.
I think people should be allowed to make their own decissions in life, make mistakes, regrets... whatever, because life will do this to you no matter what path you take. I cant stand all this control over things, its got to stop!
My story short, i married my dh when i was 16 and he was 23 - fastforward to this day and we are still happily married and about to have our second daughter in just a few weeks. I would not change a thing! we have changed a lot and grown together to love each other and commit to the special relationship and bond that we have together :)
I married my hubby at 19(almost 20) and my hubby had just turned 23. It was the best decision I've ever made. We've been married for almost 7 years now with 2 beautiful little girls and I wouldn't change a thing. I do though understand that getting married young isn't for everyone. I just got really lucky and met my hubby young!