Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?
Breakups, man. They happen. And sometimes, you're stuck wondering if breaking up really WAS the right thing to do. I mean, there are all these things that are great about your ex, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't have dated him in the first place.
So, what do you do? Should you take him back?
Here are some things to think about while deciding whether or not you should get back together with your ex.
1) Start by considering why the relationship ended -- was someone to blame? Who? Why? If his behaviors were the reason you two broke up, remember that actions, well, they speak louder than words.
2) Can you forgive him? If the breakup involved infidelity, do you think you can get past the trust issues and begin anew? Is he truly remorseful?
3) Was he abusive -- emotionally, economically, or physically? If the answer is yes, do not get back together with him. People rarely change their abusive behaviors, even if they promise that they'll "never do it again." And domestic abuse usually escalates over time.
4) Are there greater benefits to getting back together? Remember -- some relationships fizzle out due to crappy timing or life circumstances. If that's the case, are you both in a place in which you can get back together without these circumstances causing problems again?
5) Take an honest appraisal of the reasons why things ended. It's easy to recall the good parts and forget the bad, especially as time marches on. Are the former problems in your relationship things you can work out? Will things still be rocky if you guys reconcile?
6) What do your friends think? Take some time to talk about your relationship with your closest friends. They're more likely to have an honest and objective view of your former partner. So what do they think about you two reuniting? Were you good together? Or was the relationship bad news?
7) What does your gut say? Sometimes, that nagging voice inside your head speaks volumes about the situation -- is it telling you to back off and run like hell? Or is it telling you to give it another go?
8) Make sure you're not going back to him because it's easy. That's one of the most common reasons people get back together -- it's easier than finding someone new. But just because it's easy doesn't mean it's right or worthwhile.
9) If you've decided that getting back together is in both of your best interests, go for it, but leave the past where it belongs. Make it all a fresh start for you both.
10) If you've decided that getting back together is NOT a good idea, make a clean break. Get rid of all reminders of him, work on loving yourself and cultivating your own interests, and remind yourself why you're NOT going to give it another go.
What are some other things to think about while considering taking him back?
Image via Kelsey Christina Karstrand/Flickr
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