Bethenny Frankel can't escape all those divorce rumors. A few spats with her hubby Jason Hoppy in front of Bravo cameras and everyone thinks their marriage is doomed.
What people don't seem to understand is that every new mom hates her husband for awhile. Yea, I said it and it's true. But that doesn't mean the couple, who have a 2-year-old daughter, are headed to divorce court.
There's nothing harder on a marriage than a new baby. Basically, the first year (or even two) of parenthood totally sucks. The endless exhaustion, never-ending chores, diaper changes, doctor's visits, and financial stress can strain any marriage.
Frankel even addressed the speculation on her new self-titled talk show: "I'm in a good marriage. We have issues, we are not perfect. We work on it every day."
She ain't kidding. It's like another job reminding yourself why you fell in love with the guy who forgot to pick up the formula ... AGAIN. So in between the inevitable eye-rolling, snarls, and sporadic F-yous, here are five tips to help your marriage survive the first year of parenthood:
- Divide & conquer. The easiest way to make a new mom feel appreciated -- and a husband's existence more tolerable -- is to take some of the load off her. I don't mean an occasional, "Honey can you change DD?" Have an actual plan in place. Like Tuesdays and Thursdays, he does the overnight feedings. A selling point to the hubby who refuses to chip in: You'll have a lot more energy for late night nookie.
- Whip out the lingerie once in awhile. Yes, I know those yoga pants are infinitely more comfy, but the effort will make you feel sexy and remind you that you're not just a diaper changing machine. Do I even need to say why your man will appreciate it?
- Nix the family bed. It's great for awhile, but it's not a long-term bonding solution. You are never going to get your groove back with a baby nestled between you.
- No kid talk! On date nights, don't weigh down the conversation with tomorrow's to-do list or recapping that 6-month doctor's visit. Reminisce about something fun, tell jokes, talk about anything that keeps the mood light.
- Go away! It's always hard taking that first trip without the baby, but it's worth it. Getting away from the stress of everyday life, even for just a night or two, can re-spark the flame. Try to escape at least twice a year.
Do you have relationship tips for new parents?
Images via andrewwtodd/Flickr
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Comments 13
Um, yes. Every new mom does NOT hate her husband. If you hate your husband something is wrong. Hating your husband is not normal.
So if you hate you're partner after baby something is wrong its not normal
I have never hated my husband. He was a life saver after our first was born. So, no, it's not true that all women hate their husbands when they have a baby. Not true at all.
While my husband is a hard worker, he definitely could step it up in the home life department. I remember in my darkest moment, looking over at my snoring husband in the middle of the night, as I was dealing with my VERY awake baby (knowing I had to work in the morning and he did not), thinking I just wanted to punch him in the face. Not very graceful or loving, but it is what it is.
I agree with I get it. I got so aggrivated with my SO when he would be sleeping, and I had to go to work at 4 in the morning it is 2 in the morning and I am the one up with the baby knowing he had the day off. Maybe I was being selfish in wanting to get some sleep so I could perform my duties at work. With the whole divide and conquer one, yeah never worked. I would ask him to change a diaper and he would ask me why can't you? Because I am already changing a diaper at the moment. Again maybe I am being selfish in asking for help. Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome father, but maybe sometimes I wish our roles were reversed and he saw where I am coming from.