We've all been there. Don't pretend you haven't. You're lying in bed with your spouse. Finally, some alone time. Seems like it's been weeks building up to this magical moment. No distractions. No phone calls. No work. Just the two of you caught in each other's arms, your lips locked in a passionate embrace.
You've never felt so in tune as you do right at that moment. Your bodies couldn't be closer and any conversations you started earlier have quickly been replaced by moaning, heavy breathing, and ...
"Mommy, what are you and Daddy doing?"
Uh, yeah. Nothing snaps you out of the mood like Kiddus Interruptus. Someone forgot to lock the bedroom door, didn't they?
The big question is, what do you say to your children when they catch you in the act? Do you cover yourself in a sheet, scream, and run to the bathroom? Do you say you were both having a crazy nightmare and it was hot so you're sleeping naked? Or do you tell the little buggers the truth, potentially scarring their puppy dog eyes for life?
The first time it happened to my wife and me, we tried to act completely natural and told our son we were "just wrestling." He looked at us, confused. Then upset. His lower lip starting quivering and then ... then came the waterworks. We're talking full-on hysterics. Every possible "you are a bad parent" scenario ran through my mind. He's angry we lied to him. He's scared or confused at what he really saw. He thinks I was hurting Mommy. Nope. I was wrong. He just wanted to wrestle too.
You'd think we would've learned from that little incident. But no, passion doesn't give a crap about past experience. It wants some now.
The next time we were busted was a little different. It was late at night, with the lights down low and music playing softly in the background. This time my wife was on top, topless. We were again completely lost in the moment. And that's when we heard it.
"Mommy, why are you naked?"
The little stinker had somehow snuck into our room without us even hearing a peep. Like a ninja, he just popped up out of nowhere, catching us with our pants down. Or should I say shirts off. We steered clear of any mention of wrestling and somehow distracted him long enough to cover up and send him back to his room. But man, talk about a traumatizing event. I don't think we'll ever fully recover.
Since our passion seems to give us bedroom-door-locking amnesia, I swear we need to put a bell around our little guy's neck. At this rate, it's the only way we're ever going to get some without being caught in the act by a 6-year-old.
Have your kids ever caught you having sex?
Image via Vanina W./Flickr
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Comments 33
This has been happening for thousands of years and happens quite often in poorer countries where private rooms in the house are a extravagant luxury. The vast majority of the kids turn out fine. The ones who don't is because their parents hound and shame them and make them feel like worthless turds.
With six kids, we've been caught a few times. Luckily, never while were were really going....TMI. Anyway, nudity in our house has never been a very big deal. We live in a very warm climate, and generally sleep nude or wearing very little. My husband makes sure to grab a pair of shorts if the girls jump in bed with us, and I always have a lightweight nightgown availiable. It's just a normal thing. If they come in, sex or no sex, we just put something on and deal. However, the funniest night was one where my husband and I got the giggles. You know what I'm talking about. And, we must have been very loud, because one of my sons yelled from his bedroom, "Daddy, stop tickling mommy." That just made us laugh even harder.
No matter what you tell them, once they get older they are going to realize what you were doing. I remember one time I walked in on my parents and I still remember it to this day and know they weren't "wrestling" as they said they were.
First of all, lock the door!
Sex is normal, natural, and good. I think that acting ashamed and covering up/springing away from each other at light speed sends the wrong message that sex is bad and dirty.
Calmly separate and cover yourselves, return junior to his room, and explain sex at a level appropriate for his age. Emphasize that healthy couples need time alone together.
Unfortunately we were recentely cought a few days ago by my almost 7yr old daughter who had forgotten to knock on the door. We were not in a position to throw a blanket over us. When she walked in I just told her to go play and nothing else was ever asked. However I will say that she don't forget to knock on the bedroom door anymore!!!! Poor kid will one day realize what was going on but until then I am sure she will be just fine!