I've never been one to give much dating advice, as I was a late bloomer who started dating in my early 20s. I was 26 before I found myself in a long-term relationship, and that lasted a decade. After that, I dated sporadically before entering another long-term relationship. But I finally feel I was in the game enough, and have spoken to enough single and married friends, and read enough articles, that I can offer some definitives when it comes to shopping for a partner.
So here it is. My pearls of dating wisdom. Mind you, there could be more. But we don't have all day. So I boiled it down to the points I want every woman beginning on her dating and relationship journey to know. Happy reading!
Sex. If it seems like he doesn’t ever really want to have sex, and he refuses to get a medical check-up to see if it’s anything physical, then he’s gay or having an affair. Don’t believe anything else. Yes, men do go through times when they are stressed and don’t want sex. But these don’t last months.
Lies. If you catch him in one lie, forgive. If you catch him in two, be wary. If you catch him in three, RUN.
Potential. Find a man you love AS IS, not a man you’ll love IF.
Issues. Whatever the issue is at the beginning, it will be the issue at the end. So make sure you can handle that issue, because it may go underground for awhile but it never truly goes away.
Guts. If something feels off, it’s OFF. Trust your gut. Don’t wait for proof. Even if you’re wrong, do you really want to be with a man who is always setting off your alarms?
More sex. Having it “too soon” won’t make a guy leave (unless he’s a jerk). But do know you are more likely than he is to become emotionally attached once you have sex.
Even more sex. If he cheats once, he may not cheat again, but things will never be the same. They could get worse, they could even get better. But the same? Nope.
Love. Nothing you can DO will make a guy love you. He either does or he doesn’t.
Resume. Don’t date a guy because you think you “should,” because he looks good on paper. That paper can -- and probably will -- change.
Chemistry. Sexual chemistry is important, but it does fade, so make sure there are other things holding you together.
Don'ts. Children don’t fix a relationship. Neither does marriage. If you have major doubts, don’t do either.
Happiness. You will never be 100% happy with your partner at all times. Stop even trying for it. But you should hover around 75% or higher.
Blame. Sometimes, you will do everything right, and it will still end up wrong. It’s just part of life. Don’t take on blame that isn’t yours to take.
More issues. Don’t date anyone if there are more than three big issues. You’ll have your hands full with the three.
Last resort. When in doubt, and you're not getting answers, and you're still in doubt, and you need answers, check his computer.
Pets. If you have them, make sure he's not allergic or hates them. Make sure NOW. Pets are for life.
Self-esteem. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.
Eyes. Watch what he does, it’s more important than what he says.
What are some of your dating guidelines?
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