8 Classic Commitmentphobic Lines Decoded!

dictionaryLadies, you know when you meet a guy you really like, and you think, "This could be the one!" But something feels off. It feels sort of like you are single-handedly dragging the relationship up a mountain, or kind of pushing it up a hill with one finger? Because it seems like the guy gives mixed signals. One day he is so into you, and the next day, you're not quite so sure, and then you're all confused and like, "Should I stay or should I go?" Yeah, when you're quoting The Clash, it's a bad sign. Well, take heart, you're not crazy. You could merely be dealing with a Commitmentphobe. Commitmentphobes can be found anywhere; however, they tend to congregate in urban areas where men outnumber women. These guys look like every other guy, but they talk differently.

So how to tell if you've got one of these slithery specimans? You need a translator. You need a Commitmentphobic Dictionary of Terms and Phrases.

Here are 8 classic lines commitmentphobic dudes say, and what they really mean (can also be used for commitmentphobic women):

More from The Stir: 15 Reasons He Might Dump You

Let’s take things slow. Meaning: Let’s sleep together really fast but take everything else really slow.

I’ve been hurt in the past. Meaning: I was rejected when I was 10-years-old and I’m still using that as an excuse not to commit.

Let’s take a little time apart so I can think about things. Meaning: Let’s take a little time apart so I can sleep with someone else.

The longer you wait, the bigger the ring will be. Meaning: The longer you wait, the bigger her ring will be.

I’m not over my ex-girlfriend. Meaning: I’m not over my ex-girlfriend, and when I was with her, I wasn’t over my other ex-girlfriend.

Sorry I haven't friended you on Facebook yet, I hardly ever go there. Meaning: There's no way I'm friending you on Facebook so you can see all the other girls I'm interested in.

I’m confused. I want to sleep with you but I don’t want to make you my girlfriend and I'm confused about how to make this happen without you catching on.

I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m not looking for a relationship with you right now -- or EVER.

What commitmentphobic lines have you heard?


Image via greenblie/ Flickr

dating, commitment


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nonmember avatar HS

You need to add the "Let's be friends and whatever happens, happens", meaning: let's see if I can f*ck you without having to commit. I've also heard the FB line, not looking for r'ship line, not over ex line...dating's been really rough for me lol!

paren... parentalrights1

"Let's still date and have fun, but not be exclusive"

Basically everything you said. Let's have sex while I have sex with other girls and eventually commit to someone else when I'm ready.

nonmember avatar Jacq

I think you have decoded lines that some people use instead of saying what they really feel... However, I think your interpretations are completely off, so much so I feel the need to comment. These interpretations sound like they came from a narcissistic and extremely insecure person, and who may or may not have commitment issues. But for those commitment-phobes out there (like myself), I find this extremely inaccurate and offensive that you've outlined some common lines and given them ridiculous translations. It is a shame that this insensitive, negative, and false impressionable crap is online. There is a distinct difference between a narcissistic self-serving asshole and someone who ACTUALLY has a commitment phobia. You might as well have titled this "Lines douche-bags use when they're really not into you." Teach your readers to respect themselves by determining the obvious signs when someone is not interested in them, rather than making them believe (and possibly stick around)that they're dealing with a commitment-phobe.

nonmember avatar Jinx

I think the lines were dead on. I've heard "let's take things slow" and "I’m not looking for a relationship right now". Of course there is always that feeling you get when things are not what they seem. You just have to learn to trust that inner voice and listen to it when it's telling you to kick his ass to the curb...=)

winlea78 winlea78

"I love you I'm just not IN love with you". Witch means. "I love sleeping with you".

DebaLa DebaLa

Well, if you really want a relationship, all these are rehashes of  "he's just not that into you."

nonmember avatar Venessa

Get a load of this one: "I've seen so many of my friends just jump into relationships that blow up in their faces, and I just can't bear the thought of that happening to us."

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