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5 Reasons Guys Don't Really Want Your Virginity

by Ericka Sóuter on May 25, 2012 at 6:15 PM

do not enter signI always thought men loved the idea of having sex with a virgin. Aren't guys always hi-fiving after bedding one in the movies? Isn't it the ultimate conquest?

I started thinking about this whole issue again while watching Girls recently. If you haven't been initiated, it's the anti-Sex and the City. I swear that show makes being a 20-something look like one grimey, joyless, soul-sucking nightmare. Well in this particular episode, the show's virgin Shoshanna was getting hot and heavy with a guy in hopes of finally 'losing it.' Then, as she breathlessly confessed to being a first-timer, the dude bolted.

Doesn't that fly in the face of everything Fast Times at Ridgemont High taught us. Don't ALL guys want to take the V-card? After a very, very informal poll, I found my answer: 'No f---ing way!' Here's why.

  1.  It's not a sure thing.  A virgin isn't going to give up the goods to just any guy. This means he has to have his whole seduction plan down pat. He has to convince her that he is worthy.
  2. There's a lot of work involved.  Unlike a more experience woman, she may not be as familiar with how the nuts and bolts work together. It could result in a lot of stilted, awkward movements or a ton of mood-killing questions.
  3. It might get messy.  Do I really need to explain this one? It involves a hymen -- enough said.
  4. She could be totally disappointed.  Every guy likes to think he has rocked a woman's world. But truth is, the first time is probably not going to be that pleasurable for her.
  5. She may get clingy.  There is something about a woman's first that just stays with her. There's a chance she could get emotionally attached and some guys are just not up for that.

Do buy into the whole 'men love virgins' myth?


Image via Lisa Newton/Flickr

Filed Under: sex, hooking up, love, turn-ons, turn-offs

Comments

20
  • Heath...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Heather Duso Johnson

    May 25, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    I waited till I was almost 23 and while I had feelings for my bf, it was a lot of peer pressure too cause I felt so out of it and literally had guys tell me they wouldn't take it cause it was too meaningful and they didn't want the pressure.  Except the bf I lost it to was a jerk, the first time was barely consensual, he didn't even try to make it somewhat pleasant and ended up raping me a few dates later.  Really wish one of my nicer guy friends would have just done it.    


  • jkm89
    --

    jkm89

    May 25, 2012 at 7:28 PM
    I think dirtbags might love virgins. I remember my first pretty much disappearing after we'd slept together a couple times. It was hard the first few weeks but a few years later and I'm over it. I think your first real love stays with you more than the guy who takes your virginity, unless they happen to be the same guy, but they weren't in my case.
  • AHowa...
    --

    AHoward66

    May 25, 2012 at 7:33 PM
    It's not just guys that don't want Vcards. In my experience, guys get extremely clingy after you take theirs too.
  • jessica
    -- Nonmember comment from

    jessica

    May 25, 2012 at 8:07 PM
    i lost my vcard to my first love. We were together 3 yrs.. He was much older than me. After being with other men, i realize now that he was such a loving and tender lover!! If only i could find that again... Lol
  • zizzler
    -- Nonmember comment from

    zizzler

    May 25, 2012 at 8:26 PM
    I would never sleep with a virgin (I'm a guy). That's just asking for trouble. Ideally it would usually be two virgins losing it to each other the first time around, but of course that probably isn't so common. I wouldn't be surprised if lots of guys like to SAY they're into virgins, because idealistically it sounds great, but the reality is something most people would actually want to avoid....
  • Angel...
    --

    Angelanscalf89

    May 25, 2012 at 8:43 PM
    I lost my virginity to a de-virginizer really he pretty much only had sex with virgins and of course i didnt know this at the time. It also wasnt exactly concensual he forced himself on me even though I repeatedly told him NO
  • Evaly...
    --

    EvalynCarnate

    May 25, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    Im very proud to say that, while I only waited until I was 18, the man I lost my virginity to is now my husband (who was also a virgin, thankfully) and we've been together for 10 years now...married for five and are expecting our second child soon. It was a very pleasant but mutually sensitive experience for us both, but I wouldnt change a thing. :)

    I cant really comment on the whole virgin thing, but it seems like 99.9% of guys I know would hop on anything with a heartbeat...so I dont think they care about your V-status...just notches on the dashboard...and thats pityfully sad.


  • Saphi...
    --

    SaphireLiz

    May 25, 2012 at 10:08 PM
    I've know guys to only want virgins and I've known guys that once they loose theirs they don't want to deal with virgin chicks and I've known females both ways as well. I lost mine when I was 16 and it was to my now husband who at the time was 13 who was also a virgin but I had no idea of his age at the time, found it out 5 years later when we got back together. I think back to those days and wonder if I could have gotten trouble for that even though it was consensual on both parts
  • Disney17
    --

    Disney17

    May 25, 2012 at 11:12 PM
    I've only had sex with two people. First was a mistake. I'm over it now. However my boyfriend has A LOT of past partners. I wish he lost it to me because I hate thinking about him with someone else, but I mean, that's normal to feel. I had only had sex twice with my ex years before I met my boyfriend and in a way it feels like I'm his first, we both feel that way.
  • Venae
    --

    Venae

    May 25, 2012 at 11:14 PM

    Just watched Fast Times last night (for, what, the 30th time?) - love that movie!


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