Love & Learn
5 Reasons Guys Don't Really Want Your Virginity
I always thought men loved the idea of having sex with a virgin. Aren't guys always hi-fiving after bedding one in the movies? Isn't it the ultimate conquest?
I started thinking about this whole issue again while watching Girls recently. If you haven't been initiated, it's the anti-Sex and the City. I swear that show makes being a 20-something look like one grimey, joyless, soul-sucking nightmare. Well in this particular episode, the show's virgin Shoshanna was getting hot and heavy with a guy in hopes of finally 'losing it.' Then, as she breathlessly confessed to being a first-timer, the dude bolted.
Doesn't that fly in the face of everything Fast Times at Ridgemont High taught us. Don't ALL guys want to take the V-card? After a very, very informal poll, I found my answer: 'No f---ing way!' Here's why.
- It's not a sure thing. A virgin isn't going to give up the goods to just any guy. This means he has to have his whole seduction plan down pat. He has to convince her that he is worthy.
- There's a lot of work involved. Unlike a more experience woman, she may not be as familiar with how the nuts and bolts work together. It could result in a lot of stilted, awkward movements or a ton of mood-killing questions.
- It might get messy. Do I really need to explain this one? It involves a hymen -- enough said.
- She could be totally disappointed. Every guy likes to think he has rocked a woman's world. But truth is, the first time is probably not going to be that pleasurable for her.
- She may get clingy. There is something about a woman's first that just stays with her. There's a chance she could get emotionally attached and some guys are just not up for that.
Do buy into the whole 'men love virgins' myth?
Image via Lisa Newton/Flickr
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Heather Duso Johnson
I waited till I was almost 23 and while I had feelings for my bf, it was a lot of peer pressure too cause I felt so out of it and literally had guys tell me they wouldn't take it cause it was too meaningful and they didn't want the pressure. Except the bf I lost it to was a jerk, the first time was barely consensual, he didn't even try to make it somewhat pleasant and ended up raping me a few dates later. Really wish one of my nicer guy friends would have just done it.
jkm89
AHoward66
jessica
zizzler
Angelanscalf89
EvalynCarnate
Im very proud to say that, while I only waited until I was 18, the man I lost my virginity to is now my husband (who was also a virgin, thankfully) and we've been together for 10 years now...married for five and are expecting our second child soon. It was a very pleasant but mutually sensitive experience for us both, but I wouldnt change a thing. :)
I cant really comment on the whole virgin thing, but it seems like 99.9% of guys I know would hop on anything with a heartbeat...so I dont think they care about your V-status...just notches on the dashboard...and thats pityfully sad.
SaphireLiz
Disney17
Venae
Just watched Fast Times last night (for, what, the 30th time?) - love that movie!