Love and relationships can be so complex, and people try all different kinds of ways to keep them going. In fact, sometimes people try so hard to hold on to a relationship that they do the very thing that is sure to destroy it. Silly people. Take Holly Hill. The Australian author of Sugarbabe and Toyboy made the media rounds only a couple of years ago as a dedicated advocate for "non-monogamy." She believed that the only way to keep a man "faithful" (or at least keep him around at all) was to allow him to have sex with other women. She called it "negotiated infidelity." But the only thing Hill negotiated herself into was a fine mess.
Years ago, psychology student Hill became convinced -- after a fling with a married man who had no intention of leaving his wife -- that men were "hard wired" for non-monogamy. And that women, too, weren't quite cut out for the long, dull road of fidelity. Well, let's face it. There's some truth to this. Humans wouldn't publish a gazillion articles a year about keeping marriages "spicy" if long-term monogamy were such an easy and natural thing.
Hill decided that she would not only become an advocate for non-monogamy, but preach this denomination to anyone who would listen (including CNN and Larry King). But, lo, what is this? Hill has changed her tune. She now thinks people are better off in monogamous relationships! Did she do a bunch of research on this? A master's thesis in human sexuality, perhaps? Not quite. It seems that Miss Hill's sleep-with-whomever-you-please relationship with her boyfriend crumbled under the weight of jealousy and insecurity. So she changed her mind. Welcome to the real world, Holly.
It would be fine indeed if we could all run around having as much sexual fun as we could handle while simultaneously engaging in a long-term emotionally intimate and fulfilling relationship. And, hey, some people manage it. They really do. But if we were all cut out for this, we'd all be doing it! In fact, we humans are poorly cut out for the pleasures and pains of multiple partners. We try, oh lordy, we try. But rarely does it work out well, Sister Wives notwithstanding.
Hill says she is now a one-guy gal. But stay tuned to see how she feels in a couple of years, when the excitement of settling down has begun to wear off.
Do you believe in non-monogamy?
Image via mr_thomas'/ Flickr