So Fifty Shades of Grey is mommy porn, huh? Well, every mommy I know is entirely too busy to read through so much humdrum dialogue and description. If we wanted romantic dribble, we'd turn on a Lifetime movie. After all, aren't those lurid sex scenes the only reason we picked up the book anyway?
To speed things up, I uploaded the kinky tome to my e-reader and searched for a few key words (surprisingly there wasn't a "penis" in a single passage). This little trick helped me skip the foreplay and get straight to the passion. Here’s a cheat sheet on where to find the steamiest bits.
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"breast" on page 104:
"Very nice," he whispers appreciatively, and my nipples harden even more. He blows very gently on one as his hand moves to my other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of my nipple elongating it. I groan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to my groin ...
"writhes" on page 214:
He pinches me hard, and my body writhes convulsively against his front. I gasp at the acute pleasure/pain. I feel him against me. I moan and my hands clench in his hair pulling harder ...
"pounding" on page 223:
I moan loudly. He moves, pounding into me, a fast, intense pace against my sore behind. The feeling is beyond exquisite, raw and debasing and mind-blowing ...
"rhythm" on page 329:
He slides his leg in between mine, pushing my feet father apart, widening my stance, and runs my hands over my sex, one hand at a time in turn, setting up a rhythm. It's so erotic. Truly I am a marionette and he is the master puppeteer ...
"spread" on page 371:
I groan. Parting my legs, he cuffs first my right ankle and then my left so I am staked out, spread-eagled, and totally vulnerable to him ...
Other tantalizing terms you should definitely try: "wet," "whip," and "ravaged."
Do you think Fifty Shades of Grey lives up to the hype?
Image via Amazon
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Comments 70
i've considered getting the book........................but if i want to read a story that has sex scenes in it, i don't want it to say silly words. i want it to use the real words, like penis, nipples, vagina, libra, ass.
No.
aweful just aweful I wouldnt want to read this
I've heard small excerpts and that's enough for me to know it's a crap book with no redeeming value. If this lady can't write any better than that she shouldn't be making money off it. Why encourage appalling writing? She's on of the worst writers I've ever encountered.
after reading the article clearly the writer hasnt read the books, talk about immature, i mean come on who uploads a book just so they can put key words in to find sex. ive read all 3 books and thought they were fantastic, yes there were times when i thought omg not more sex ( im knackered) lol, but the storyline was gripping. im a hairdresser and so meet alot of people on a daily basis and the only people ive spoken too who have slated these books havent read them, instead they have read articles like this and made there minds up from that.